Ceremony

Mar 18, 2026 ∞

Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

and when (as seems inevitable)
disagreement comes to be

and the mishap
in any other way
would be set down as common
to both

// 232β

καὶ ἄλλῳ μὲν τρόπῳ διαφορᾶς γενομένης κοινὴν ἂν ἀμφοτέροις καταστῆναι τὴν συμφοράν

//

selamat calendar complex

Ogoh-Ogoh for tilem today
and family calls and the gamelan calls
(seen here, here, here, here?, nsfw?)

when having constructed our demons
we carry them through the streets
and shake them and fight them

and turn them and burn them
and ooh and aah and waow
and laugh and breathe fire

and then
collapse
into

Nyepi tomorrow
no outgoing or talking
or fire or electricity

or internet
or working
or lovemaking

we let the ogoh-ogoh
believing it to be uninhabited
pass harmlessly over the island

so tomorrow will be silent
in the valley as well
no posts from me ok

then (we await
confirmation from the village
its all local time) Eid al-Fitr . . .

//

Mar 18, 2026 ∞

i love living where i live

photo of dusky purple foamy sea water swirling

never a dull moment
immersed in your genius

the gamelan starts at noon
holding my heartbeat
from the inside

//

🌑

Mar 17, 2026 ∞

Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

and surely
if fear arises
for you

supposing friendship (philia)
to be difficult
to hold together

// 232β

καὶ μὲν δὴ εἴ σοι δέος παρέστηκεν

ἡγουμένῳ χαλεπὸν εἶναι φιλίαν συμμένειν

//

Mar 17, 2026 ∞

beauty of change

i fall to fragments in the pulling of your chain
my ageing eye-bones ugly by the sea

as always drags for stunner-fish from me
speaks death my fathers pockets into poverty

futility behind me fire-dives like stars
for childrens sea-bed faces i will never see

the grieving know by undertowing force
necessity your surface that i choose to be

by breaths am i permitted in this dream
your daily judgment sheer futurity

my watch the world unmade as history
your swallowing my coin remainderless

your lie in the veil between me like a mist
your move and i miss you infinitely

//

eta - note: i came across this and wanted to clarify, in case my poem may have been part of what prompted it.

this piece was written as an attempt to work through feelings of futility, distance, and a failure of vision and expression. it was not intended as a “heroic” or “no problem” poem, or as support for war, genocide, or the justification of violence.

it is fairly common for me to discover unintended interpretations in my poems after posting. sometimes that is part of what i value about writing this way. but i also recognize that it can lead to readings i did not anticipate, especially when the subject matter brushes up against real suffering.

to be clear: i do not support genocide or war. i do not blame or hold animosity toward victims of violence. i have made personal choices in my life to distance myself from institutions and systems that do support those things.

im sorry for any harm or distress this poem may have caused. that was not my intention.

-e

Mar 16, 2026 ∞

freedom advice

to where im from
from where ive been

when you cant see the room
stop throwing stones

//

Mar 16, 2026 ∞

Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

but they dont even try to accuse
non-lovers (eran)
for communing together (sun-ousia)

knowing (oida) that its necessary (anagkaios)
to dialogue (dia-legein) with them
through friendship (philia)
or some other pleasure

// 232β

τοὺς δὲ μὴ ἐρῶντας οὐδ᾽ αἰτιᾶσθαι διὰ τὴν συνουσίαν ἐπιχειροῦσιν

εἰδότες ὅτι ἀναγκαῖόν ἐστιν ἢ διὰ φιλίαν τῳ διαλέγεσθαι ἢ δι᾽ ἄλλην τινὰ ἡδονήν

//

or love

Mar 16, 2026 ∞

prayer for puasa

the hardest thing for my puasa
and i still struggle with it
is not the hunger — i have been made
perhaps too comfortable with hunger

but its the eating again
its my takjil classic impasse
its the opening of my daily fast
and it would break me every time

my very body would refuse
my hardened lips just wouldnt soften
my sharpened teeth just wouldnt chew
my strangled throat just wouldnt swallow

so sitting parched-mouth after sunset
before my three precious dates
how angrily would i demand the cause
my why and what am i myself against

my self surrendered in survival
my self surrendered in nourishment
my self surrendered to the sunless day
my self surrendered to the slow care of the moon

and surely there remain deeper hungers
and surely colder winters to come
but Lord — please let me not refuse
your mercy when the spring appears

//

Mar 15, 2026 ∞

Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

and so whenever fae behold (horaein) them
dialoguing (dia-legein) with one another

fae suppose them to be
together-being-in-desire
(epithumia sun-eimi)

that has either come to be (gignomai)
or that they are about to do (mellein)

// 232α - 232β

ὥστε ὅταν ὀφθῶσι διαλεγόμενοι ἀλλήλοις

τότε αὐτοὺς οἴονται ἢ γεγενημένης ἢ μελλούσης ἔσεσθαι τῆς ἐπιθυμίας συνεῖναι

//

maybe sex