Ceremony

    ahistorical fast

    you come to me with your fishing game
    your hunger for hunger
    i might bite

    to stir the turmoil of that famous ocean
    the subtle friction between his loves
    our pretty little law

    your holding vibrates like a plucked string
    all beauties of the past
    swallowed

    //

    whos a good

    i heard a rumor about myself
    from you or my long-lost
    referential tendency

    the scent just strange
    like a far-flung purpose
    with charred edges

    remarkable love
    mighty hobbler
    good nature

    //

    ache

    daikon & rice vinegar
    & kopi & key lime pie
    & something i don’t recognize
    and everything else
    ive eaten at iftar

    and everybody laughing
    at my stomach-ache

    because they know

    //

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    and they are ready
    by speeches and deeds
    incurring the hatred of others
    to please the beloved ones

    // 231ξ

    καὶ ἕτοιμοί εἰσι καὶ ἐκ τῶν λόγων καὶ ἐκ τῶν ἔργων τοῖς ἄλλοις ἀπεχθανόμενοι τοῖς ἐρωμένοις χαρίζεσθαι

    //

    black sesame milk

    photo looking out to sea from the beach with a mass of grey cloud over a clearer sky, small breakers at the reef on not too wavy but rippled grey-green-blue water, and speckled tan and white and black gravel and coral pieces and sand

    might //

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    that they claim
    they most love (philein)
    those whom they love (eran)

    // 231ξ

    ὅτι τούτους μάλιστά φασιν φιλεῖν ὧν ἂν ἐρῶσιν

    //

    philos and eros
    cacao and sea salt
    or the dog

    //

    of the lovely maker and the might of Achilles

    i think often of Achilles triple-shot
    how he returned to the war before his armor was made
    by Hephaestus of the golden-dragging foot
    to his naked rage and slaughtered twelve with just his voice

    then we are gifted some pretty face of a shield
    and as all the seas daughters in threnody behind him
    his myriad aunts and his mother verging on hysterical
    its light-footed Vulcan tuning weather that i remember

    and as amber waves of hair around her loomed fluvial
    like civilization swashing blind into the bloodstorm
    although material and form were mountainwork and metal
    a cetacean iris was blooming around her tectonic teapot

    //

    rereading book 18 of Homer’s Iliad

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    furthermore, if it is worthy
    through this (eros and/or the following argument)
    to make (poiein)
    lovers (eran)
    worth much

    // 231β

    ἔτι δὲ εἰ διὰ τοῦτο ἄξιον τοὺς ἐρῶντας περὶ πολλοῦ ποιεῖσθαι

    //

    hot fast & the slow burn

    eat in the dark
    shit quest
    love fast

    sleep like the sun
    die like the day
    dream of your almighty face

    devouring
    in darkness again

    //

    its sambal tomat
    under nights black thread
    and the rivermouth on fire
    its filling but on isis time

    so i haw and fret
    to make counter time
    for my ligatory chord
    for my throwing bones

    for the holy month
    for otherwise

    //

    tempe & daun salam

    //

    🌒

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    but to make or do (poiein)
    zealously (prothumos)
    whatever they suppose
    will gratify them (charizomai)
    when they have gone through with it (prassein)

    // 231β

    ἀλλ᾽ ἢ ποιεῖν προθύμως ὅτι ἂν αὐτοῖς οἴωνται πράξαντες χαριεῖσθαι

    //

    a snorkeling woman

    now as the horizon evened and was empty-full
    or would you say full-empty
    about the shark tank that drew swimmers bled-
    blue-traces racing orders round my head
    for me the day would gently useless be
    a yellowish sea turtle kind of day
    and an exhale left me vast and near
    down underneath my colder spine of fear

    and as what you turned pearlescent grew
    the violet dear and clearly breaking you
    the cloud-gray whisper and the frothy wave
    was toying with your tendered ankle bone
    soft undulant sea-crinkled green
    like the linen sheen across our fathers bed
    as the tinfoil sun was flashing mean
    against your pinking arms and shoulderblades

    and as the quiet-crowded gloom below
    accustomed stinging tears to witlessness
    and the broken coral sharper needling
    against your shins armorlessness
    the looser webs of mer-light gyrating
    grew grown inside and tidal-spectacled
    and the massless intervening seemed
    the famous nobody to prove you whole

    what clever lover waiting down the stream
    could hold your palace cool and fathoms deep
    when the thunder-heading planet-threading way
    of the underwater giant was floating
    your skin the crizzling rainfall of red sugar
    returned to birth a burnt and beautiful nude
    and an undertowing current shaped
    the lunar fasting of my stone-bone-home

    it was just some local princess playing strange
    along the undead continental shelf
    an honored guest or angel amongst drowned ruins
    the snowfall of those dropped and dropping teeth
    and as the horizons blueing fuller loomed
    like grief in visibility of itself
    our rounding eyes were feasted futureless
    and we grazed over the desolation of the reef

    //

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    nothing remains

    // 231β

    οὐδὲν ὑπολείπεται

    //

    photo looking out to sea hazy with a light frothy wave along the bottom of the image over broken coral and sand and smooth sea-green crinkled water surface leading up to an empty horizon near the top of the image that reflects a pale blue sky with placid white clouds

    rhymes //

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    so with such great evils
    stripped away

    // 231β

    ὥστε περιῃρημένων τοσούτων κακῶν

    //

    come up to me

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    nor (do they) place blame
    for differences with relations (prosekein)
    (through this)

    // 231β

    οὔτε τὰς πρὸς τοὺς προσήκοντας διαφορὰς αἰτιάσασθαι

    //

    inhuman allusion (where)

    in shredded shadow hums her corners beastly nerve
    end-hounding at the anklets of my wandering
    by prowling tigers milk and heat evisceral

    cuts lip to tongue amnesiacs re-hysteried word
    stalks fear in what like a magician i have bound
    blush turns like a trick pony shes ground me into

    and if there was a choice that voice has been erased
    thigh-hollows skittering rush from goose-flesh alter-flight
    laughterless laugh to pique the predatory mask

    high valleys ridges brimming overrun of rage
    down slouching bowels round rapt plum of panic like
    the sparrow silent as a fork in my ribcage

    and somewhere in this feckled wilderness her heart
    is pounding proud and naked by the rivers dark
    on the doubled drums of gods anarchic metaphor

    //

    warm to a thremma

    //

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    nor (do they) keep count (hupo-logizomai)
    of the troubles (ponos)
    that have come and gone (para-erchomai)
    (through this)

    // 231β

    οὔτε τοὺς παρεληλυθότας πόνους ὑπολογίζεσθαι

    //

    Indras net (what belongs to the familiar)

    around her head a sardine circlet
    around her foot mortality
    around her voice a glittering corset
    around her heart a memory

    she reflected on the dawnlight
    she was setting in her place
    she looked sober in the photo
    but you couldn’t see her face

    eye for eye and cell to cell
    did you knot me to be brave
    did you tie me from a shoestring
    toss my frame across the wave

    name the garnet in my cherry
    your horizon on the deep deep wine
    as i lost count of drowning
    for the promise of a rhyme

    for your blessed rage to swallow
    i was waiting at the altar
    and a pearl was burning bitter-sweet
    when i tasted your salt water

    when i saw you in the restaurant yesterday
    and you finally appeared
    Indras net was drawing closer
    Indras net was catching tears

    when you saw that i was deadly
    when you wrote my rib in two
    i was made and i was unmade
    to make better love to you

    and every lace undoing
    to find the heart of sand
    and every mark to fill the worth of a blade
    with the imprint of her hand

    and every glass was melting thunder
    to the predatory corner
    and a little death for the purities of power
    to the mountain out her window

    to the wildflowers evening color
    to the sky and sea and weather
    to the darker voice that rose
    to the horses all untethered

    she heard it was one million
    she heard one million seven
    the circle dreamed it would be easy
    the fishes knew it would be heaven

    you know my situation
    you know what keeps me here
    you know ocean is an islands final word
    and what belongs to the familiar

    //

    lyrics for conscience round
    music and idea from angles morts

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    but for the non-loving (me erosin)
    the lack of care taken (a-meleia)
    for their own things (oikeios)
    through this (eros)
    is not used as an excuse (prophasizomai)

    // 231β

    τοῖς δὲ μὴ ἐρῶσιν οὔτε τὴν τῶν οἰκείων ἀμέλειαν διὰ τοῦτο ἔστιν προφασίζεσθαι

    //

    photo of a friendly beach dog with something yellow around her neck and dog pawprints in mixed black and beige sand with warm sunlight shining from the left

    heart of sand //

    Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)

    they suppose long ago
    they have paid back the worth of the grace (charis)
    to the beloveds (eromenois, pass. part. of eran)

    // 231β

    ἡγοῦνται πάλαι τὴν ἀξίαν ἀποδεδωκέναι χάριν τοῖς ἐρωμένοις

    //

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