Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
and when (as seems inevitable)
disagreement comes to be
and the mishap
in any other way
would be set down as common
to both
// 232β
καὶ ἄλλῳ μὲν τρόπῳ διαφορᾶς γενομένης κοινὴν ἂν ἀμφοτέροις καταστῆναι τὴν συμφοράν
//
selamat calendar complex
Ogoh-Ogoh for tilem today
and family calls and the gamelan calls
(seen here, here, here, here?, nsfw?)
when having constructed our demons
we carry them through the streets
and shake them and fight them
and turn them and burn them
and ooh and aah and waow
and laugh and breathe fire
and then
collapse
into
Nyepi tomorrow
no outgoing or talking
or fire or electricity
or internet
or working
or lovemaking
we let the ogoh-ogoh
believing it to be uninhabited
pass harmlessly over the island
so tomorrow will be silent
in the valley as well
no posts from me ok
then (we await
confirmation from the village
its all local time) Eid al-Fitr . . .
//
i love living where i live
never a dull moment
immersed in your genius
the gamelan starts at noon
holding my heartbeat
from the inside
//
🌑
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
and surely
if fear arises
for you
supposing friendship (philia)
to be difficult
to hold together
// 232β
καὶ μὲν δὴ εἴ σοι δέος παρέστηκεν
ἡγουμένῳ χαλεπὸν εἶναι φιλίαν συμμένειν
//
beauty of change
i fall to fragments in the pulling of your chain
my ageing eye-bones ugly by the sea
as always drags for stunner-fish from me
speaks death my fathers pockets into poverty
futility behind me fire-dives like stars
for childrens sea-bed faces i will never see
the grieving know by undertowing force
necessity your surface that i choose to be
by breaths am i permitted in this dream
your daily judgment sheer futurity
my watch the world unmade as history
your swallowing my coin remainderless
your lie in the veil between me like a mist
your move and i miss you infinitely
//
eta - note: i came across this and wanted to clarify, in case my poem may have been part of what prompted it.
this piece was written as an attempt to work through feelings of futility, distance, and a failure of vision and expression. it was not intended as a “heroic” or “no problem” poem, or as support for war, genocide, or the justification of violence.
it is fairly common for me to discover unintended interpretations in my poems after posting. sometimes that is part of what i value about writing this way. but i also recognize that it can lead to readings i did not anticipate, especially when the subject matter brushes up against real suffering.
to be clear: i do not support genocide or war. i do not blame or hold animosity toward victims of violence. i have made personal choices in my life to distance myself from institutions and systems that do support those things.
im sorry for any harm or distress this poem may have caused. that was not my intention.
-e
freedom advice
to where im from
from where ive been
when you cant see the room
stop throwing stones
//
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
but they dont even try to accuse
non-lovers (eran)
for communing together (sun-ousia)
knowing (oida) that its necessary (anagkaios)
to dialogue (dia-legein) with them
through friendship (philia)
or some other pleasure
// 232β
τοὺς δὲ μὴ ἐρῶντας οὐδ᾽ αἰτιᾶσθαι διὰ τὴν συνουσίαν ἐπιχειροῦσιν
εἰδότες ὅτι ἀναγκαῖόν ἐστιν ἢ διὰ φιλίαν τῳ διαλέγεσθαι ἢ δι᾽ ἄλλην τινὰ ἡδονήν
//
or love
prayer for puasa
the hardest thing for my puasa
and i still struggle with it
is not the hunger — i have been made
perhaps too comfortable with hunger
but its the eating again
its my takjil classic impasse
its the opening of my daily fast
and it would break me every time
my very body would refuse
my hardened lips just wouldnt soften
my sharpened teeth just wouldnt chew
my strangled throat just wouldnt swallow
so sitting parched-mouth after sunset
before my three precious dates
how angrily would i demand the cause
my why and what am i myself against
my self surrendered in survival
my self surrendered in nourishment
my self surrendered to the sunless day
my self surrendered to the slow care of the moon
and surely there remain deeper hungers
and surely colder winters to come
but Lord — please let me not refuse
your mercy when the spring appears
//
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
and so whenever fae behold (horaein) them
dialoguing (dia-legein) with one another
fae suppose them to be
together-being-in-desire
(epithumia sun-eimi)
that has either come to be (gignomai)
or that they are about to do (mellein)
ὥστε ὅταν ὀφθῶσι διαλεγόμενοι ἀλλήλοις
τότε αὐτοὺς οἴονται ἢ γεγενημένης ἢ μελλούσης ἔσεσθαι τῆς ἐπιθυμίας συνεῖναι
//
maybe sex
matter
the season leaves
the city leaves
the bitter ending leaves
i stay
i stay so hard
i drop my taproot
i plunge into the sphere
there was a sentence here
there was no choice in the matter
i am a matter of survival
(fasting)
//
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
furthermore of necessity (anagke)
many hear tell of
and see
the lovers (eran)
following the loved ones
and making (poieein) this
their work (ergon)
// 232α
ἔτι δὲ τοὺς μὲν ἐρῶντας πολλοὺς ἀνάγκη πυθέσθαι καὶ ἰδεῖν ἀκολουθοῦντας τοῖς ἐρωμένοις καὶ ἔργον τοῦτο ποιουμένους
//
fasted desire (lay me)
her demiurge reviews the urge
from which amaze tactfully de-mazed
earth-maker of my demi-glazed
eye
for sighing to be held — ready
your valley to be seen — surfaced
used witless by the restless sea
(lay me
in memory)
//
for not a place
et al.
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
(the best)
instead of reputation (doxa)
from humans
(go with)
// 232α
(τὸ βέλτιστον) ἀντὶ τῆς δόξης τῆς παρὰ τῶν ἀνθρώπων (αἱρεῖσθαι)
//
must not be stopped
i am what
too empty
too full
too sleepy
too Soren (???)
but otherwise
im your man
//
go easy on the Muslims in your life
its the last week of Ramadan
and harder than they make it look
🌘
proper fast (& thanks)
dont give your body up for nought
so reads the rhetors scroll on love
now i forgot just who it was
that stole my breath in body bound
yet i recall the lovers nought
who let me give my breath away
//
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
go with (aireein, mid/pass) the best
// 232α
τὸ βέλτιστον (ἀντὶ τῆς δόξης τῆς παρὰ τῶν ἀνθρώπων) αἱρεῖσθαι
//
fast by you
body of grass
black earth body
body of an ask
three billion years
four billion blades
body yet new
when i lie still
fast by you
you find me
//
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
but those who are not loving (eran)
being stronger than themselves
// 232α
τοὺς δὲ μὴ ἐρῶντας κρείττους αὑτῶν ὄντας
//
when he said theres a body
im tryin to find
immaculate ooze
until discomforts of
deep oceanic trigger
a sighing spring
when the abyssal ooze
in-twined fecundity conceived
our dark-bodying infant
(of constant cry)
//
🌗
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
that they have not labored
for them
in vain
// 232α
ὅτι οὐκ ἄλλως αὐτοῖς πεπόνηται
//
recollection of an ask
on that fateful summer day
when we escaped the tiring city
by silly-door in set-down wall
my love — were we un-born
//
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
and being lovers of honor (philotimeoesthai)
would show off before all
// 232α
καὶ φιλοτιμουμένους ἐπιδείκνυσθαι πρὸς ἅπαντας
//