the hardest thing for my puasa
and i still struggle with it
is not the hunger — i have been made
perhaps too comfortable with hunger

but its the eating again
its my takjil classic impasse
its the opening of my daily fast
and it would break me every time

my very body would refuse
my hardened lips just wouldnt soften
my sharpened teeth just wouldnt chew
my strangled throat just wouldnt swallow

so sitting parched-mouth after sunset
before my three precious dates
how angrily would i demand the cause
my why and what am i myself against

my self surrendered in survival
my self surrendered in nourishment
my self surrendered to the sunless day
my self surrendered to the slow care of the moon

and surely there remain deeper hungers
and surely colder winters to come
but Lord — please let me not refuse
your mercy when the spring appears

//