i can’t remember
what my skin was like
before i moved
to Indonesia

or if, back then
i ever examined
my own face
in the mirror

but if i had, my skin
would have been
blurred
like
powder makeup
young, dry
unburnt
and smudged
around the eyes

in this country
my skin is almost
always shiny
shining
blushed
amphibian
for some reason
or other, me
or the island
it is full
of almost
too much life

but it, my skin
is pale again
and my cheeks
and chin
are rounder

now, i look
many times a day
at my own face
in the mirror

and
all i see
is my grandmother

from a photograph
in sanguine greys
taken when she
was younger

and from
a recenter one

in springtime shades
of rose and ivory
carefully strewn
with flowers


//