With relief. //
Does this seem right? It’s neither the power nor the responsibility of a child to forgive a parent. To forgive, as to judge, is the power and the act of God. The power and responsibility of a child is to communicate their need for care.
There is also the literal groundlessness (earthlessness, lifelessness) of anger directed against a parent. (As usual, thinking of Achilles. But these really seem like lessons of Abraham, …) It’s there, the rage, as a feeling, but it makes no natural sense. Like an artifact of (divine) omnipotence. What a child feels and expresses toward a parent (Ismail’s crying) isn’t a judgment, but an unaddressed need for care.
Likewise, there’s something perverse when a parent asks their child for forgiveness. Why are you putting that burden on your child? As a child, I could never not welcome one of my parents into my house, or into my heart. But that’s not forgiveness, I don’t think, it’s just being a child. To forgive, as to judge, is the power and act of God.
There’s a rough and ready (“embodied”) justice grown into generational (“blood”) relationships, which already negotiate between the finite and infinite circumstances of a political animal, the things we might demand of each other, the things we must release. It’s maybe easier, from the perspective of liberalism, to recognize the arbitrary nature of familial justice and its proneness to abuse. (When there is no viable rejection of, or emancipation from parents.) But maybe it provides some rudimentary shelter for sanity, and a solider liberation.
It was a rainy afternoon, E and I both fell asleep while watching a movie, took a nap. Woke to the sound of more thunder and fireworks for New Year’s Eve. Which I care about only a little, (we’ll observe the lunar year), but ok. This seems like a pretty good thought-feeling to end 2024. With relief. That it simply isn’t my place, to judge or even forgive my parents. Of all the things that are my responsibility, that’s not one of them.
As Prophet Abraham, (peace be upon him), to his father. “I will pray for your forgiveness, but I have no power to rescue you from Allah.” (Surah Al-Mumtahanah, Ayat 4.)
Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin. 🌑