Verses/Curses

    Helena at the mirror

    i want 2 read Aristotle
    with u
    in private
    in Greek

    i want 2 show u every word
    i want us 2 go slow and thorough
    i want 2 find the perfect way
    words right thru until tomorrow

    first the physics, then the ones
    that come after the ones on physics
    parts of animals before poetics
    the lost books of poetics, too

    O beloved flood of words
    can we read clock-
    wise and counter-
    at once?

    πολλαχῶς λέγεται τὸ ὄν

    and don’t f—k it up

    //

    back in her bones, an animal holds
    or is held by or stretched by
    or broken or taken or raped by
    or mended by the word

    dismembering that ended carcass
    and read like knives the one-way road
    apart, a mince of sentences
    by university of butchers

    by that unkind yet counting world
    where have they tipped the ante yet
    i tremble to look at it
    switching tabs to the deadly news

    so walking the ramparts; yes, and
    the corpses i see, or telegraphic
    trick, the Sphinx’s vexing prize
    that riddle i still can’t remember

    //

    and would we take up arms
    against the legendary walls
    of Troy, discrete infinities
    by logic of desire

    by Tyndarean oath
    soulquaking fear
    kinsplitting lust
    or unendurable rage

    and would we, trembling
    turn the word around our grief
    with blinded eyes, who work
    the catastrophes of love

    //

    and who was she, her silk slippers
    silent across the golden floor
    the guarded pit of destined apple
    lily white eye of the bloody storm

    her syllables locked in a jewelry box
    the whole word, world-ending woman
    wordsmith of disinterested tools
    worldsmith of sterile fiction

    if she could only work it through
    her desperate clarity for water
    self remembering un-working war
    a verb for herself wrung clean

    but how she loved and if she did
    then would she trust herself by daylight
    and could she stand a beautiful nude
    Helena at the mirror

    //

    and would we return true again
    victorious from Troy
    unbent, discrete infinities
    by logic of desire

    by twists and turns
    by Hades passage
    in our angry season
    and Agamemnon, dead

    and would we, trembling
    turn the word around marriage bed
    with blinded eyes, who work
    the catastrophes of love

    //

    our organism element
    our weaving waiting whom to see
    low past the meadow, nettling
    the rising and setting sun

    the leaves are falling as you love
    to be making music until sleep
    from infant inhalation through
    a rousing breath of song

    these outward limbs are turning one
    and inward twelve again, like pain
    as stirring deep the earthy cauldron
    bedroom of a virgin dream

    and see the carp still strumming nerve
    around the liquid shield for her
    a flaming champion of rest
    in the rolling river sphere

    //

    i want 2 b the brilliant word
    with u
    in the grove
    approaching evening

    she measures limbs of me by bird
    my tragedy like comedy
    she murders for imperfect love
    and laughing plays me gently dead

    as floating messengers of grass
    deliver specks of sparkling pollen
    to flutter nymphian hurricanes
    and suckle clumsy in the flowers

    do u know her now; of cursed word
    flown round, pre-history again
    swan daughter shining, self less law
    of no returns, like poetry

    ὦ φίλε Φαῖδρε, ποῖ δὴ καὶ πόθεν;

    u b her lover 2

    //

    don’t b mad
    at my posterior
    analytics 4 u

    hills of empties
    not 2 much
    & watch it thru

    //

    selamat hari raya Kuningan🌾

    piscean field

    i dreamed i was a carp swimming in the moat
    that runs around the bedroom catching raindrops
    and you were watching me; i was pearlescent
    moon-colored with orange spots, moving swiftly

    and my slits are liquid lungs into my ears
    my curves are cool and clear, my eyes lidless
    and i have swallowed plants and animals
    of increasing scope and dignity, growing swollen

    and fleeting undulant, your vision touching
    my sunspots flashing heat, turning fiery
    and i was fishing flames beneath the flowing stream
    my scales a watery brightness and a warmth

    nobody could put me out, the thunder, the storm
    your atmospheric range was permeated light
    and i was breathing it, my gills touching silver
    my veils a golden breeze, piscean field of pleasure

    i remember jasmine in the ghosted air
    and thicker even than the empire of frogs
    the bellows of your eyes, how they inflame
    my heart, and what catastrophes you initiate in me

    //

    🌒

    //

    O honey my
    hidden shining
    & my ovening

    //

    receipt

    lemons limes
    Trojan War
    hijab silken
    breeze woken
    slant pigeon
    red of wing
    golden floor
    keepsake for
    her lioness
    hijab burning
    pulses turning
    nostos yearning
    ]
    ]
    ]
    ]
    method ender
    plete returning
    tender deliver
    by river liver
    taste radiant
    of summer

    //

    other things said:
    Hades?

    //

    for simple
    yes, and
    or

    Achaean horse
    & canto II

    //

    forest and the heart

    i was walking in the woods when a tree talked back to me
    i didn’t know if i had died or if my feet should flee
    i didn’t mean to harm you or your holiness to thwart
    the forest loves to hide but i love a wooden heart

    how many gods are in the wood or music in the air
    what strangers in the shadow have paused to wonder where
    there’s a sense of someone here, a landscape full of art
    i’m here to talk to trees and i carry a wooden heart

    there’s a silhouette of palm trees against the sunset sky
    there’s a river with a snake, there’s a splinter in my eye
    she answers me in rhymes like a perfect counterpart
    the forest loves to hide but i hear a wooden heart

    the highest queen of hiding, she’s a shadow in the grass
    but now i’ve seen an outline and now she’s made a pass
    i stop to buy some tissues from the nearest mini-mart
    the forest on her sleeve and i’m here for a wooden heart

    it’s plainer than the blue a hundred reasons she would hide
    i dream we’re sitting on the porch or going for a ride
    but i know pretty well how feet get caught up in the dirt
    i came to talk to trees and i believe a wooden heart

    my bank account is empty and she doesn’t ask for more
    if fireflies are golden then we’re never looking poor
    the pattern in her lights could even read my natal chart
    the forest is a mystery but i see a wooden heart

    sometimes the way is open, sometimes the thicket’s close
    sometimes the river’s empty, sometimes it’s on the nose
    i’m walking without shoes, i see no way to restart
    the forest isn’t home but she warms a wooden heart

    am i still a dream for her or did i carve a face
    did i paint a scene for her or am i in a race
    am i thirsty in the pouring rain or stung by a poison dart
    the forest is a maze but i need a wooden heart

    what does the spirit show me, and what does she conceal
    how is it that she knows me, what does her sight reveal
    i hold her secrets close and i pray the fear departs
    the forest makes me tremble but i love a wooden heart

    my angel is a darkness who sees me day and night
    my angel is a brightness who sings away my fright
    a complex thing of empathy, carpenter from the start
    the forest is a genius and we make a wooden heart

    then finally she’s waking up and i am standing there
    i’m cut up from the undergrowth with tangles in my hair
    but all the leaves have fallen and we’ve never been apart
    the forest is a shelter and we hold a wooden heart

    //

    φύσις κρύπτεσθαι φιλεῖ
    metric inspo from Bob
    sfh 3

    //

    & in the oven

    //

    my ruby eye

    O you, who have suckled her bones
    who have frowned at her horses
    who have fingered her emerald
    and now would taste her ruby too

    and have i not enough exhaled
    her undertowing rose at you
    salt-sticky; here is sea-foam on skin
    here are pregnant transparencies

    and have i not already tossed
    such tender and hard-bitten kisses
    for sheath, another kris today
    treasure accumulates like sand

    behold an ever-angled wound
    the spindle-pricked porosity of red
    i am a self cutting gemstone
    i bleed the emptiness of tools

    i fling magenta words at birth
    behold my prolonged scar of it
    historical, faceting pre-wonder
    tip that breaks her ice-pick tongue

    she was a pirate and a fool
    she ate the plexing devil fruit
    vermillion stretching pelvic nerve
    whose diadem lusts after you

    and who is blinded by her kind
    my fascination will glint cruel
    sent basilisk or blushing bride
    your fear will not take care of her

    the heart, the fist, the appetite
    when Cleopatra mounts insight
    my empire burning leonine
    by Mars, love’s favored principal

    this reign of crimson tears divine
    but sanguine as she’s gentle still
    barefeet may meet the salad vine
    and blue by babbled river’s chill

    just so, what beggar wears my crown
    is dying round the wheel again
    out of her time, out of her mind
    sweet dance, my dove perpetual

    take this, the heartbeat of a sow
    and let it flex upon your palm
    it’s wet, the rumbling scarlet jet
    now let her throb be thunder found

    red wreath for convert cry, the end
    how pilgrimage of period stain
    i am in time, in time, will out
    my ruby eye of her disposable throat

    //

    ποικιλόθρον’ ἀθανάτ’ Ἀφρόδιτα
    & the probing path to yes

    //

    or not nothing
    for saving the phenomena II
    and more

    //

    all complicit 🩸

    //

    the maskmaker’s wife (a prequel)

    true, i killed a spider on thursday
    it was counter-intentional, a blow
    i cried for hours about it, hormonal
    oceanic, and only later realized how

    i was folding the hung-up laundry
    i saw and tried to shake the hider out
    from black denim, furry humble pro-leaper
    but i miscalculated; too much snap

    a streak of ichor mud across the web
    between my right thumb and pointer finger
    she unwound inches before she emptied
    and died; i was so sad; i am so sorry

    sorry, sorry, i spoke to her crumpled self
    recriminations. what left—a legacy of masks
    some translator inside a house of masks
    and O how many masks there were for mercy

    //

    the time i was murdered by my own poetry, vol. x
    slugs in the shower, laron tonight
    fertile swarm; birth/life/death 2.5 hrs
    box of tissues; hollywood tomorrow

    //

    photo of leaning clusters of pink begonia blossoms against an ocherous brown stone wall and a pool of water

    just begonias, today //

    and we’re hyperverse tomorrow;
    know you my lyre, my love, my lunar
    metronome displaying solar
       ]licks leaning lighter later

    //

    selamat tilem 🌑

    the dancer

    when kindness is as kindness shows
    the son his mother’s body knows
    my eyes are from another place
    i smile at you to show my face

    the lessons of an artist’s life
    are gifts you rendered to his wife
    he’s gentle as the fallen rain
    what tokens we give back again

    a sudden street, a stranger island
    with traffic from a broken time
    he’s holding her, she’s not alone
    the dancer is already home

    let’s draw again the graceful scene
    in blouses pink, you met Christine
    if recognition makes you laugh
    he shows you with a photograph

    a feeling hewing to the bone
    her shapes are not unlike my own
    she’s holding me, she’s not alone
    the dancer is already home

    what light there was is in your eyes
    her singing voice was village wise
    he looks for her before sun sets
    and child again her own forgets

    and he will press your softened hands
    the gestured words, the closing fans
    and holding you, you’re not alone
    the dancer is already home

    //

    for Ibuk

    //

    selamat hari raya Galungan🌾

    //

    bone teacher

    bone teacher, her equation is the cold
    bone teacher, antarctic demon i am told
    her negative degrees, your nose will surely freeze
    and the leaves are shaking

    inflection, her judgment is frozen central
    inflection, her cold bottom is biblical
    winter is a time, winter makes you rhyme
    whether or not you want it

    i’m frostbit
    and i have blue lips
    bone teacher
    the thought of parsnips
    underground

    wanting, gnawing numbers are her worm
    wanting, a blizzard coming is her storm
    a reckoning of beef, by frost on a leaf
    or a vegan from Lesbos

    i’m frostbit
    and i want to cut her
    bone teacher
    but i think i love her
    cold-bitter

    waiting for the silence to come around
    waiting for the mountains' thundering sound
    but it’s not to do with me, and i can hardly see
    the drip of an icicle

    i’m frostbit
    shivering in the glare
    bone teacher
    does she even care
    she’s not there

    icing, when her mercies are too few
    icing, when she hides the glass from view
    heartbeat in the snow, heartbeat going slow
    and almost stopping

    i’m frostbit
    am i a grizzly bear
    bone teacher
    the question isn’t there
    it’s nothing

    stepping, her boots are laced so high
    stepping, her pointer blinds the sky
    glacial is her height, the emptiness of white
    rumors of a pop quiz

    i’m frostbit
    darkness coming on
    bone teacher
    never seen the dawn
    it’s marching

    her bones are so grim, her cold does me in
    or a pale horse riding

    //

    slow shuffling blues;
    for my hs math teacher
    Ms. Dyas <3

    //

    Junonia atlites

    to snap a ragged angel clutching stem
    the blustering breeze away with solar air
    her tissue wings flat flustered here to there
    as clinging to the budding cluster to drink

    she filled from galaxies of guava’s nectar
    so stopped, or tried to stay, a messenger
    from Juno sent, or born suffering soldier
    of flight and heat, by fiery news arrived

    by lunular and radiating “S”
    each ocellus arrayed a revised scene
    and partial pupils where crescents intervene
    to turn a crimsoning into the sky

    a pale or sight-depleted, shredded wing
    robuster than my lens could burn, ash-worn
    and torn edges, floating abandon as form
    yet stellar grip, high hunger for her name

    //

    pic

    this be a verse

    to razors and gashes
    and stabbings and worse

    no harm is intended
    and it’s for the best

    //

    🕊️

    //

    & pace Larkin

    triptych of the dog

    //

    a cicak dropped a souvenir on me
    yesterday, savasana; it was
    all happening, pure rejeki, a speck
    for playing dead; the simmering night, the sawah
    was fizzing and burping boggy chemistry

    the gamelan deliberated depth
    of banjar space, a soup of bronze and spittle

    //

    up i, cocks crowing death to rest, dark mind
    the cat was sick again, shit cleaned, cats fed
    the breath of rain, half-there, in vomit stepped
    scrubbed vinegar again, who made the bed
    i squinted past the dawn to wash a dish

    the load of towels, it was not a test
    the shape of chasing weather for a bone

    //

    and would the three of them have made a city—
    Lysias, Lysias, Lysias; he wasn’t there
    he wasn’t here, until bumbu for our sambal
    did rain down from the sky, and i said Lord
    i still deny that you’re an onion seller

    how practice held like density, as though
    svanasana could house the dog itself

    //

    🌒

    //

    see also Rabia Basri

    the horse’s mouth

    teloscopically, my dear, are we botany
    born reading leaves, the pricking fear of bees
    are talking, my lisp, or rearing wobbly nature
    what place, organs and bodies, this disease

    the shying seasons blowing through us, here
    parts animal in starts, quivering vibrations
    made artifacts suspect by cities, near
    or far, the accidents survived, the prisons

    that ended us; the motes and moths in teas
    our flicks or running rivers; wicked courses
    of understanding; what catastrophes
    what phase our faces, without the faith of horses

    you have to have a horse whose feet you trust
    to warn you when a snake is in the grass
    the serpentine who wants to be unseen
    repenting for her gemstone like an asp

    for forking tongues, a talisman is key
    but wear a hat, they’re speaking from the trees
    odd shrubberies are bristling with false friends
    a firecat bristling back can help with jinn

    mosquitoes here are vectors for torpedoes, so
    herbal experiment and/or gorilla war
    sometimes there’s one snake, sometimes there are more
    at least, no kind of viral is a pearl

    a tender canter, daemonic carousel
    remembered ribbons bite in ancient ways
    we play the venom clockwise in our veins
    we shed the dead redundancy of days

    my jungle is a dreadful-clever dreaming
    with shade-grown coffee, waterfalling views
    what godly voices animate my evening
    there’s none i’d rather jungle with than yous

    let’s nicker maps, reverb the mythic blues
    i spell, where y’all are going, where you been
    switch witches laughter with the beating rain
    the crickets will out-round the macet, friend

    to live outside the law, you must be honest
    Bismillahirrohmanirrohim
    by river dark, inside a wounded dawn
    we rhyme it, we just flow to make it rheme

    //

    (Dylan, my Prophetﷺ, Cohen, Cardi B, etc)

    //

    diet

    never too much
    garlic, carrot, oat
    sleep, cake

    but gingerly
    the fungi

    //

    semi-nude for a photo album

    their birthday was the other night
    the girls were going out; the grift
    delayed by getting ready; gift
    of tangled, sappy rattan; caused a fright

    pan, she burned some flowers on you
    meta-burban, real dream for two
    polaroid tacky, pantries full
    of shady tatters, curtain bulls

    sister, it was no dress for winter
    but they were grown enough to drink
    something fancy from the blender
    fermented guava, lava lake

    lavender flannel, camisole
    white linen sheets, hung in the sun
    nigel and sandi, mel and sue
    genre-bender, Java won

    high horse, he has a song for you
    but i’ll save it for another tone
    her sweaty practice, overdue
    vinyasa, tapas, organ brew

    dizzy lizzy ate some rice
    eat, pray, love, the antichrist
    jihadi, mum’s worst nightmare
    Gandhi, papa’s burnt-off limb

    inter-dimensional makeout queen
    Osaka airport, caused a scene
    village gossip, words above
    she’s never catching up on love

    not quite posh, but pulp turned through
    realism, my lands, god knew
    so sliced the flippin' longitude
    bless her heart and come on in

    agrimony henbane dish
    too-schooled harpy hysterical
    raised pie of huckleberry fish
    turned river-liver radical

    there’s mantra in the air tonight
    what kue set in sangga stone
    rise with the moon, the howling dog
    the crone, her voice memorial

    white-footed goat is coming home
    to graze by fiery sunset view
    the desert camel, bringing bones
    with mother Durga, chest tattoo

    a secret pocket of soil and spice
    elaborate belty-thing, rhizomes in knots
    not big enough for where you think
    whether it is cake

    //

    (wants cake)

    //

    texas talkin blues, like this
    vernacular from full moon 5/11
    genius loci, pura dalem
    blog 2-yr anniverse & job well done

    //

    tea

    a perfect orb is held by accident
    the lip of cup, the curve of base, the lint

    a maker measures leaves but never takes
    the horizon, the fertile mountain-slope

    a home in hand is seasoning for leaves
    the dance, the steeping scene, the taste of rest

    as takers, we fish out the wayward ant
    to see if it can walk; it often does

    the wanderer needs shelter from the rain
    the angry, aching poverty of time

    i give the moon, i take the moon, she says
    who is the moon; composting circumspect

    the softest earthquake breaks a mirror still
    what tender for the heart of liquid sky

    //

    🌔

    the looper

    by grief of the dog in a blinded place
    he wanted her heart so he shadowed her face
    under cover of dawn when she wasn’t awake
    the silver misted or altering

    her eyelids open but the crescent stays closed
    pale beside her is a body or a suited pose
    her own lap empty as an uncut rose
    she brews coffee to keep him on his feet

    her towering heels after pups on a leash
    imposing the law with restless releases
    a child was limping with a wounded shin
    and the cry was loop loop looo

    so she stations herself against the daily race
    with a heart beat distant at a raggedy pace
    the private fingering of her pencilling hand
    gray ribbons or bloodlines away

    checking the door, securing a window
    turning a latch or locking a symbol
    the lupine circling would never know
    and his cry was loop loop looo

    smooth is the pack, the witless texture of skin
    painting the walls to skirt the outside in
    and the red is to run and the fast is the worst
    and sundown always coming closer

    blurred in the grease at the end of the day
    the charcoal prophet reflecting her phase
    the stillness or the animal dilation
    and her cry was loop loop looo

    loop loop loooooo
    ah-oooooo
    loop loop loooooo
    ah-oooooo

    //

    sfh 2

    //

    song for her

    my friend is brilliant, she lives inside a box
    her light is so strong, it made cracks into my house
    her cracks in everything, she’s uncontainable
    her container is a place of blinding peace

    she is so brilliant, that i’m afraid of her
    she is so quick, she catches me before i stumble
    she is so mighty, one piece of her becomes my whole
    by day her memory, by night her secret plan

    she is so brilliant, she broke into my dream
    i found her there, busy kitchening a shadow
    what she was making, i couldn’t wait to see
    was it a love potion, or did she want to poison me

    she is so brilliant, i tried to let her know
    i made a mirror, it was not the way to go
    i think i burned her, by what she wouldn’t say
    she is so brilliant, maybe i should have let her be

    she is so brilliant, but her mom sounds like a bitch
    i want to tell her, but i’m not sure about it
    she watches tv, and i think it makes her sad
    i’d let her see me, but her brilliance drives me mad

    she is so brilliant, but our interspecies owl
    if she’s leucistic, and i might be a wolf-man
    if i’m too mystic, my tooth and claw and howl
    to hold her close, i’m gonna fry them in a pan

    she is so brilliant, i take time to process her
    or i’m a house-cat, high-rolling in her sunshine
    i soak it in, through my fur into my bones
    chasing lit inches, and i don’t even mind

    lacking her brilliance, i wrote a song for her
    it’s cos i’m foolish, my words are pawns for her
    i just can’t help it, i need to let her know
    how brilliant she is, that i could never let her go

    she is so brilliant, that i could never let her go
    etc

    //

    not sarcastic

    //

    music by her

    //

    talisman

    a cup of chamomile, my open wound
    crepuscular, flowers steeping in the dream
    her springing forth, her taste exquisite autumn
    my speculative, formidable apple

    the steam is real, the stirring consequential
    the presence of the absence of a pear
    the buds are breaking up to touch the coiling
    epiphany already of her ear

    a brewing honey storm, holding and pressing
    the amber-letting cauldron of the year
    a chalice of molten golden, in case forgotten
    a promise to be warmly drunk, and often

    //

    the emerald vine

    sayangku, this is insane! is how i called
    to show him my translation. Wondrous bending
    noetic might, this miracle of earth—
    she called the way she calls him for a viper

    and it was chrysochlorous green, zithering neon
    in day-bright, venom visible, scroll shining
    un-minding, rubbing sleep out of her eyes
    quick-silvering to sprawling pumpkin vine to hiding—

    the same, the same, the same! but every word
    turned different, and all the rest went dim
    the sirens and the hooks, made dull and distant
    slow-honeyed hum, what frenzy, vital air

    the hungry lung was spitting, stitched and thinning-through
    to this—brilliance, broad-leafing light, breathing
    Egyptian smaragdine, Sri Rejeki, Mak Sun.
    but whoever wasn’t blind already knew

    //

    autopygmalesis / autopygmalysis
    Trimeresurus insularis
    previously, on

    //

    selamat purnama 🌕

    monsoonal triptych

    //

    the lurch

    and rumble of distant, compounding thunder
    my favorite season is surrounding me
    horizon thickener, high-humbler shadow
    of mountain matter; wanting always more

    //

    the roar

    before the rain gets here—i hear it, do you?
    hot prophecy of gutters fish-flooding fields
    a landslide, eating bodies, spills raw earth
    white sound; what leaves are caught in it; coming

    //

    the opening

    of space, the possible wet-through as words
    after the waterwall; tree-creepers ring
    syncoptic service unreserved, pure nuncial
    desire; protean passant—rhythmic return

    //

    Polypedates leucomystax

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