Insects

    special delivery

    smooth now, that rough magic
    periscopic tragic midnight lookout

    pale arms out arctic like an exiled
    penguin into the nameless city

    coping, cold, gauze in a sand storm
    laron flicker in the mighty dust

    a turning ember, hot
    spark-caught, gold-litter

    in the spider web
    spanning a rattan lamp shade

    my one fish, two fish
    her peacock greenish-black or blue

    the switch, dangling
    sarcophagus

    so dead; quothe the neon miracle
    off-gassing meatlight; or Lalah

    pink, with only enough instinct
    to kill and never eat, my baby, yes;

    deveining ribbons in the snow, scrubbed
    scrubbing, awash in the darkroom; or

    backstage, up rusty rungs, like icicles; blanket
    of rags, pocket of candy-wrapped pills; she goes

    like gamelan trancing crickets at the cross
    by tilem, smoke of incense over the sawah

    //

    sound

    returning traces undergrounding borne
    as open airing round, roots longing light
    commemorating leaves inhuman voice
    midsummers dream, a choir, the covered face

    //

    Socrates: (cont.) summery and clear, it responds to the chorus of cicadas

    // 230ξ

    θερινόν τε καὶ λιγυρὸν ὑπηχεῖ τῷ τῶν τεττίγων χορῷ

    //

    scent

    no sweeter nothing making than a flower
    sustaining tension, fluttering on the wing
    Papilio memnon round lemon-balmy vervain
    by ghost of anther’s end, the probing hour

    //

    the mallow sea

    sleeping moons in a plastic spoon
    slip them into the watcher’s tea
    undertow and the lunar noon
    float away on a mallow sea

    loo, loo-loo, the empty sea
    loo, loo-loo, the mallow

    a fooly tumbles on her head
    a froggy for the willow tree
    fall down into the green grass bed
    sail away on a bumble bee

    loo, loo-loo, the bumble bee
    loo, loo-loo, the mallow

    a fairy’s wing in every room
    a pocket for the marble sky
    fluff the pillow and sweet the broom
    softer than a glow worm

    loo, loo-loo, the marble sky
    loo, loo-loo, the mallow

    sleeping moons in a plastic spoon
    slip them into the watcher’s tea
    undertow and the lunar noon
    float away on a mallow sea

    loo, loo-loo, the empty sea
    loo, loo-loo, the mallow

    //

    🌕

    //

    mallowtonin

    &

    pour notre
    voyeur

    //

    hag-seed
    4 all

    //

    hot snow woman

    somewhere it’s christmas, but i’m here doing laundry
    we both know how dangerous that can be
    my favorite things to wash are sheets and towels
    they come out white-hot, bright and steamy clean
    and ready to be hung under this unseasonable sun

    so sincerely unmeaning for any meaning at all
    my simple chore, and not to drop or drip on them
    as i un-wring the nubby cotton yoga blanket
    disentangling from the rub of its late flood, to spread
    and pin it on the line, adjusting ends to dry evenly

    folding my prior load, i’ll tell you just what i find
    my daily yoga tops, lavender python, yes really
    sky blue, white puff, navy with golden stars, poly girly
    turquoise-violet mermaid scales and hippie daisies
    for yoga shorts, mens bamboo boxer-briefs, all black

    emblazoned with italian-style logo, pasti lokal
    for underwear, i’m mostly cotton, occasionally lace
    synthetic demi-nude or translucent net; pink pastel
    or robin’s egg with winking flowers and creamy camisoles
    i barely wear a bra; that’s fairly reflected here

    two oversized linen shirts, menswear, light blue
    pinstripes, for my free-flowing shade, or undyed natural
    two oversized soft flannel, menswear, blurry plaid
    my cozy-in at night, for when the wind blows colder
    their warmth imbued with an intense nostalgia

    loose pants of rayon blend, tie-dyed in earthy tones
    i buy these from a lady near our favorite resto
    sweets for the maskmaker, as village mothers often do
    he charms their socks off and gets us lightning deals
    i mend them into scarves when seams rag, and re-up yearly

    i fold it all, attending to the shape and size, to fit
    into created places on the shelf; it doesn’t spill over
    we don’t have too much; for every piece there is a tell
    the other morning a hornet was sleeping on a pillow
    and buzzing slushy, bristle or tickle, firecat feels real

    but i’m a snow woman today, or if i’m melting
    i’m doing what i do on any other day, heat swelting
    i’m touching and holding nothing that isn’t here
    and by the nothing that is or isn’t, who or where
    being beheld or leaving somewhat damp, unfolded

    //

    perverse
    like my uncle
    x Hot Frosty

    //

    🌒

    O sunrisen sand
    lit warm on a surfer
    for holistic kitchen
    on bent-knee receipt
    her despite respite
    libris libraque

    //

    pink non eraser

    under fan
    ceiling
    by socks or slippers
    whispers inside the softest rain
    disordered bee
    bonnet be let out
    two dimensions on a wednesday
    piece of obsidian, cool in hand
    her dilating pupils
    her pink paper sand
    clawless pawing my pencil
    .;,,32wu8x
    pathomistry traces oily
    whiff papyral

    //

    catspoon
    container

    //

    greener lunar & glimmer

    at dusk the unrequited grey finally weeps
    and as i light my evening stick i see
    a dragonfly, cool silver of the lasting day
    geometer over the dimpling waterway

    i count four nights until purnama again
    her waxing time a misty studied book
    like meaning in mossy witness a surprise
    somnambulant for solar exercised

    not jealousy her promise to conceal
    deep cedar heavens the greenest flesh of me
    weed pregnancy crescenting fernery
    the bitter ocean growing wider, closer, fuller

    my dream is not my dream; a greener lune
    is shadow to be read through algal water
    diagonals hunt her evolutionary square
    boys hover over tears to catch a glimmer

    //

    🌔

    //

    the book itself
    invoking maiden game
    as female stupor is, i swear
    moon’s blood misnamed

    blasphemy

    her temple ceiling
    drinking from the sky
    and evergreening walkers hear
    the name: grow taller

    //

    forest and the heart

    i was walking in the woods when a tree talked back to me
    i didn’t know if i had died or if my feet should flee
    i didn’t mean to harm you or your holiness to thwart
    the forest loves to hide but i love a wooden heart

    how many gods are in the wood or music in the air
    what strangers in the shadow have paused to wonder where
    there’s a sense of someone here, a landscape full of art
    i’m here to talk to trees and i carry a wooden heart

    there’s a silhouette of palm trees against the sunset sky
    there’s a river with a snake, there’s a splinter in my eye
    she answers me in rhymes like a perfect counterpart
    the forest loves to hide but i hear a wooden heart

    the highest queen of hiding, she’s a shadow in the grass
    but now i’ve seen an outline and now she’s made a pass
    i stop to buy some tissues from the nearest mini-mart
    the forest on her sleeve and i’m here for a wooden heart

    it’s plainer than the blue a hundred reasons she would hide
    i dream we’re sitting on the porch or going for a ride
    but i know pretty well how feet get caught up in the dirt
    i came to talk to trees and i believe a wooden heart

    my bank account is empty and she doesn’t ask for more
    if fireflies are golden then we’re never looking poor
    the pattern in her lights could even read my natal chart
    the forest is a mystery but i see a wooden heart

    sometimes the way is open, sometimes the thicket’s close
    sometimes the river’s empty, sometimes it’s on the nose
    i’m walking without shoes, i see no way to restart
    the forest isn’t home but she warms a wooden heart

    am i still a dream for her or did i carve a face
    did i paint a scene for her or am i in a race
    am i thirsty in the pouring rain or stung by a poison dart
    the forest is a maze but i need a wooden heart

    what does the spirit show me, and what does she conceal
    how is it that she knows me, what does her sight reveal
    i hold her secrets close and i pray the fear departs
    the forest makes me tremble but i love a wooden heart

    my angel is a darkness who sees me day and night
    my angel is a brightness who sings away my fright
    a complex thing of empathy, carpenter from the start
    the forest is a genius and we make a wooden heart

    then finally she’s waking up and i am standing there
    i’m cut up from the undergrowth with tangles in my hair
    but all the leaves have fallen and we’ve never been apart
    the forest is a shelter and we hold a wooden heart

    //

    φύσις κρύπτεσθαι φιλεῖ
    metric inspo from Bob
    sfh 3

    //

    & in the oven

    //

    Junonia atlites

    to snap a ragged angel clutching stem
    the blustering breeze away with solar air
    her tissue wings flat flustered here to there
    as clinging to the budding cluster to drink

    she filled from galaxies of guava’s nectar
    so stopped, or tried to stay, a messenger
    from Juno sent, or born suffering soldier
    of flight and heat, by fiery news arrived

    by lunular and radiating “S”
    each ocellus arrayed a revised scene
    and partial pupils where crescents intervene
    to turn a crimsoning into the sky

    a pale or sight-depleted, shredded wing
    robuster than my lens could burn, ash-worn
    and torn edges, floating abandon as form
    yet stellar grip, high hunger for her name

    //

    pic

    photo of a lavender-grey barred and spotted butterfly with many tears in its wings, landed on a cluster of tiny buds, on a branch with dark green leaves spotted with white, against the blurry ground.

    meaning //

    Junonia atlites on guava

    the horse’s mouth

    teloscopically, my dear, are we botany
    born reading leaves, the pricking fear of bees
    are talking, my lisp, or rearing wobbly nature
    what place, organs and bodies, this disease

    the shying seasons blowing through us, here
    parts animal in starts, quivering vibrations
    made artifacts suspect by cities, near
    or far, the accidents survived, the prisons

    that ended us; the motes and moths in teas
    our flicks or running rivers; wicked courses
    of understanding; what catastrophes
    what phase our faces, without the faith of horses

    you have to have a horse whose feet you trust
    to warn you when a snake is in the grass
    the serpentine who wants to be unseen
    repenting for her gemstone like an asp

    for forking tongues, a talisman is key
    but wear a hat, they’re speaking from the trees
    odd shrubberies are bristling with false friends
    a firecat bristling back can help with jinn

    mosquitoes here are vectors for torpedoes, so
    herbal experiment and/or gorilla war
    sometimes there’s one snake, sometimes there are more
    at least, no kind of viral is a pearl

    a tender canter, daemonic carousel
    remembered ribbons bite in ancient ways
    we play the venom clockwise in our veins
    we shed the dead redundancy of days

    my jungle is a dreadful-clever dreaming
    with shade-grown coffee, waterfalling views
    what godly voices animate my evening
    there’s none i’d rather jungle with than yous

    let’s nicker maps, reverb the mythic blues
    i spell, where y’all are going, where you been
    switch witches laughter with the beating rain
    the crickets will out-round the macet, friend

    to live outside the law, you must be honest
    Bismillahirrohmanirrohim
    by river dark, inside a wounded dawn
    we rhyme it, we just flow to make it rheme

    //

    (Dylan, my Prophetﷺ, Cohen, Cardi B, etc)

    //

    diet

    never too much
    garlic, carrot, oat
    sleep, cake

    but gingerly
    the fungi

    //

    while waiting

    i seemed to hear a new leaf budding from
    outside, across the garden. i, pristine
    sat on our bed— the future strange, deranged—
    an alien inventing self-erasures.

    is it normal, in my crone, to feel this way?
    i missed a contentwarning— fingering machines,
    scissored by shades of glass. the news,
    the look of starving innocents; the bud,

    not yetgreen, also not yet visible.
    hallucination of the woozyqueen
    or turquoise bees, copper goldenbuzzing
    around the vervain; a shipwreck from afar

    in language of my nature, or astray
    unfounded tear, some private pearl, ruptured—

    //

    🌘

    silver robes of a rose rabbi

    (This 12-part poem is a reply to Wallace Stevens’ “Le Monocle de Mon Oncle”; Further explanation may be found here.)


    I.

    —and did you ordinary women mock
    in liturgies of utterances contained,
    lines overwrought by time-keeping cant of yours?
    and did you burst from bullied syllabub,
    or clockwise stiffen into winter walls?
    the musicals of ghosts, midwives and angels
    echo, hollow, down stone-cold corridors.
    and did you consecrate your spectacle,
    coupling one who spoke—no, no—not nothing,
    a stand-in that you killed while playing swords?
    to quell the babbling spring by means of rain,
    or merely quote the Mother’s name in vain?

    she has been up at nights, considering
    how to un-kiss this devil-gendered thing.


    II.

    well, i make believe an uncle, dead
    and dear. less clear is fortune of the bird.
    to fly, to seek, and what on earth to find
    but torrent of an obsolescent mind
    —he said, obscure and arduous to hear.
    and yet, it flies. and though he doubts her crown
    and midnight sight, she will fly too. and though
    her silver glows in anecdotal mood,
    her lilt, of stellar tilt, still loving, lingers
    in braided dancing round a pool of blue,
    tuning her clutch in nesting eddy of
    said bird, whose course is old and hardly true—
    and yet, it lives. rising, as golden-red
    in flight, crowing like Scorpio in the East.

    rest easy, uncle cold and fluttering
    and lately of rambunctious residue;
    a dove survives heaven to choir anew.


    III.

    O man, if you could see her witchlocs now,
    or what’s become of Eastern expertise.
    she is swamp-bitch, and twisted, twined and hitched
    without romance by ruby claw to thorny crown,
    her hair—each barb a bell, each bloody herb
    a suicide. she’s heard of nobody’s
    outrageous feats of raw technology.
    in wracked rumors of Western fantasy
    she knit a while textiles anti-exotic,
    but sweaters have no use in the tropics,
    where skin is king. and now we’ve come uncrimped,
    uncrumpling, algal Anadyomene
    of muddy water, Charybdis of the bog.

    what’s history is past—nevertheless, he asks
    why, woman, have you gone au naturel?


    IV.

    that spotless glass is not the book of Adam.
    that trinity you stole cuts like a knife.
    to be uncrumpled is to be un-uncled—
    un-uncled, i become the poet’s wife.

    i am un-hidden woman of the garden,
    body un-ridden by the dust-bound word.
    the queen of poet’s tongue, i lounge and lean
    as music on my salivary throne.

    the syllable you speak, my roundness is
    her shapely immanence. our rectitude
    is life—of tree—of life. so eat me, fallen
    father of mankind, and know your foolishness.

    speak again, brother—madly, as husband.
    my honeyed bone un-spells your make-believe
    kafir—he sees his wife sans négligee
    who tastes the ripened fruit by naked eye.

    says ordinary woman made explicit,
    who steals your spectacle to save your life.


    V.

    can we remember together, after all
    or does my voice harden the picture frame?
    by being body, do i gather you
    intolerably, or spread you thin as kin,
    one stroking throb of summer esoteric—
    you tickle me with feather of a peacock.
    a gazer’s gloomy imagery is perfume
    of incense, arousal at great distances,
    long-smouldering and lit by tender match.
    far from the proximity of virgins
    there burn the Verbs of Love, arrayed
    as galaxy of irretrievability—
    before my eyes, you took and held my hand.


    VI.

    we used to call you man of twists and turns,
    the dynamo—reckless, drowning, sea-rendered
    until perennial blue, the one i knew
    well enough to know, i loved nobody.
    his thirst, prostrated, clutched me from below,
    desperate to conceal from wingèd word
    a history of suffering. a babe
    buried his need in bosom of my nature,
    drunk on the deep milk of disappearance.
    his subterfuge despair was mythical,
    until he made her fiction. he may not
    remember me—but i keep by my heart
    a wavy lock of sunset-auburn hair.


    VII.

    suppose a parable is just like her:
    desired and defiled in equal measure.
    his chivalry requires a blushing knight
    to guard the Word, who is incarnate treasure.

    i heard of one such rescuer of women.
    who, for his lovely sin, was de-mountained
    by crippled foot, and fated never nimbly
    to climb again. but faith in constancy
    makes deliberate gifts, arms built from hours
    spent torquing tongs before roaring earth-core.
    therefore, no purity of heart is borne
    that lacks an alloy in the sooty forge.

    thou shalt not fear the courage of your virgin,
    is the limping gist of this comparison;
    her shining is at once translucent bloom
    and armor’s lustre, welded by humble Vulcan.


    VIII.

    if doom begins to seem antipathy,
    baby, you’re scrolling past the blues. that time
    of year thou mayst in our humanity—
    but not the Muse—behold, of warty gourds'

    cosmic grotesquerie. and there’s the rub.
    as long as tongue still holds a gentle fold,
    i will elucidate your grim hallucination.
    launder and bandage the decaying limb

    of sense, of memory, of time. wed heaps
    of conscious compost consummate the bloom
    in star-swept dimensions of titanium,
    where whorls of microplastics never end—

    machine poetic, of pumpkins meteoric,
    becoming metaphysic—tender beings,
    fizzing histories apocalyptic,
    chime and rhyme as flutes of pink kombucha.

    we sing the tropical-epochal view
    at end of universe, or two. until
    séance à trois, with chaperone of grackle,
    i love the laughing sky—let’s make it crackle.


    IX.

    most oblatory heart, i bring you news.
    despite our deadly faith in prophylactics,
    resourceful Cupido pricks porous tactics,
    ever hanging hymenal fools. behold:

    on spun-gold surface of radiant yolk,
    in sky-strewn milky way of albumen
    suspended, questing’s lustiest conceit,
    the part-less heartbeat of a person third:

    as ancient aspect touches youngest plume
    to stir, pure destiny, the origin
    of life, as love, in pilgrimage secured:
    the red point points, and to itself—as bird.

    O holy gift, O crack in everything!
    the mad midwifery of paladins
    births not a baby, but a voice on fire:
    ecce peep. now go, and meet your daddy-o.

    his name’s Pipit the cocky chickadee;
    he is a theory of fertility;
    enthusiasm incommensurate
    with clock-a tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.


    X.

    a balmy chickadee alights on bough
    of jepun tree—gigantic, bristle-trunked,
    beatified—by tipped cosmos of day
    and melting star of paradise, bodies
    unveiled. we lie in kindred shades of them,
    verbing and flowing, in blues made legible
    by greenborn leaf. in leaves there hides a forest
    where braid the wanderers their briared maths.
    a souvenir shelters nectonic paths,
    ancestral courses wild with counterpoint,
    and mercy of geometry—proffered
    by rivered children of Love’s oblivion.


    XI.

    dilated pools, star-gazed—surrender pinkly
    to phobia of frogs. if you dismember
    those bracing, faceless bodies—lost in love
    their coiling gyres, desiring—helixing
    directions inward, home. or intervene
    against the skyward cough—raw, gaping need
    to swallow more—when pollywog is strung
    by lunar air. ritual drowning of gills,
    suffering insurgency—the gulping word,
    fata Morgana flooding Camelot
    is twinned ecstasy of triple betrayal.
    for swimmers' lust, the sea is all. and still

    her cries are not for us, alone—we hone
    the bluest chord of velvet-driven reverberation.


    XII.

    now all of us have lost our taste for mince,
    the history of grinding, darkly, Adam;
    so schooling blade, student of buah, prunes
    til circumspect the hour. and she has thorns,
    forms of her own—we prick ourselves and bleed
    to name her flower. bending the voice to crown,
    we’re drunk by literal skies of melody.
    you found her singing by the sea, where she
    had fled, as she remembered you were drowning.
    who is the rose rabbi? i read, she comes
    and goes. knows herself not. how would she know?
    if glass were introspect, Iris of time—
    to find she had been borne, a cradled question.


    //

    🌕

    on bad days

    on bad days, the silence
    has more to say to you
    than i do. and yet

    every day i worry
    you’re not a reader
    of silence.

    if only i could give
    my shape to silence, then you
    might hear the crickets.

    if silence
    were nothingness, then
    i would be green leaves.

    but i saw the silence,
    its air of winter,
    its shape of clear empyrean.

    its emptiness, strewn jewels —
    all of it was precious;
    none of it was secret.

    above the radiance, i heard
    earth is a place of rest —
    and i believe it.

    i press patchouli
    to your wrist, your temple.
    i draw the covers.

    //

    gospel of crickets

    new fiefdoms are forming.
    comes the gnawing saw,
    gospel of crickets.

    authors of books
    are finding nooks.
    the map is bending.

    curving, like body
    being, of course, a place —
    the terroir of carrots, roasting
    with garlic, chilli and cumin.

    longing, we remember
    touch and savor, from when
    our land was whole, and full.

    but our landscape is broken.
    parsed before it lived, engendered
    as stark disability.

    glass fragments are swept
    heaped, and scattered, opposite
    the old neighborhood.

    hillsides sizzle, lost in smoke.
    the multitude glitters —
    bodies, on fire.

    with gas, the lord is cooking
    at his stainless steel reflecting pool.
    he extols these terraced acres

    as civil emptiness,
    slate, aluminum, and hollow.
    static, it echoes.

    not like the night,
    contrary and brimming
    with her buggy heat.

    a holy thicket is dying,
    nested — the host of silver light,
    drawing foolish creatures.

    grievers in the dark,
    crowers in the autumn,
    langurs in the mist.

    sutra sisters
    weaving webs,
    an insubstantial orb.

    the lord is not a fool;
    he makes the rule.
    nevertheless, the ruler will

    in muggy hedges, be herb-
    tested. Dasein is to suffer
    the sound of little kin.

    //

    shaped by this, via here. also by this, via this.

    our stinging silence

    what are the things
    you know of me
    that you keep, unspoken?

    the secret me you keep
    and by extension,
    my undiscovered twin.

    is it family or alien?
    or do i have no right
    to such distinction.

    i have been, for some
    two thousand years
    or more, dissolving
    in waspish creation.

    i am, who has been long-
    forgotten. already, i am
    not of conversation.

    a fuzzy, artless form
    is turning in the paper
    of a nest, drowning

    in droning oceans — the ply
    of dialogue, subsumed
    by black battalions.

    can you hear them?
    they are humming
    the densest metaphors.

    //

    lapsed momentarian

    seed fluff billows
    across the black mat

    (inhale
    jump back
    chaturanga)

    so much
    for so little
    for so much

    immaterial
    globe, a memory
    of lost focus

    dream
    of a body, as wind
    seeking structure

    the velvet blue
    of a butterfly wing

    i don’t know why
    things are shaped
    the way they are

    sent
    published, and yet
    anecdotal

    birds who can’t fly
    insects without words

    studying
    to be a container
    for the already

    understanding
    it is needful
    to be broken

    //

    the carrion

    by Charles Baudelaire (original translation. cw: necrophilia.)

    remember the object we saw, my soul
    that summer morning, soft and sweet
    at a twist in the path, a foul carrion
    in its bed, seminated with pebbles

    its legs in the air, as a woman aroused
    hot and dripping with poisons
    splayed in a cynical, nonchalant way
    womb swollen with expirations

    the sun shone fully on the decay
    as to roast it, until just right
    to return as millions to Nature’s noblesse
    the cosmos she had contained

    and heaven saw the magnificent carcass
    as a blossoming flower
    the stench was so potent, there on the grass
    you thought you might collapse

    the flies buzzing around the putrid belly
    were issuing black batallions
    of worms, pouring forth, pustulent
    along the living tatters

    the whole descended and rose like a wave
    or sprayed in a sparkling spume
    one could say the body, swole by murky breath
    flourished in its inflation

    and the world was rendered a stranger song
    of watery flux and the wind
    or grain that a winnower’s rhythmic geste
    turns and churns in a basket

    the shapes dissolved, no more than a dream
    a sketching slow to arrive
    on canvas forgot, where the artist derives
    from memory alone

    behind the rocks, an anxious bitch
    watched us with angry eye
    le squellette awaiting a chance to reclaim
    the morsel that she had left

    — and though you will be the same as this filth
    as this horrible infection
    stars of my eyes, sun of my nature
    you, my angel, my passion!

    yes! such will you be, O queen of graces
    after the last sacraments
    when you go, beneath fatted flowers and grasses
    to moulder amongst the bones

    then, O my beauty! say to the worm
    who is eating you with his sex
    i have kept the shape and essence divine
    of my loves' decomposition!

    //

    waalaikumsalam 🌒

    mosquito milk

    she caught you sucking
    on her breast today,
    mosquito

    did you think
    she was
    your mother?

    a poet makes
    a pretty
    terrible
    mother
    for
    a mosquito


    //

    waalaikumsalam 🌓

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