Element

    Socrates: (cont.) then i would wisely (sophein) declare that it was the wind itself of Boreas that thrust her down from the nearby rocks as she was playing with Pharmakeia

    // 229ξ

    εἶτα σοφιζόμενος φαίην αὐτὴν πνεῦμα Βορέου κατὰ τῶν πλησίον πετρῶν σὺν Φαρμακείᾳ παίζουσαν ὦσαι

    //

    Pharmakeia is not associated with a known mythological figure; her name means drug, remedy, poison, or witchcraft.

    //

    re invited / over hung

    well Lady Dionysia, re invited
    in his season of sacrificial eyes dilated
    regal and settle on spilled contents of purse
    the messy desmudging scene in the mirror
    shrugs

    re selfie up reckening too sour & sweet, ordinary
    melted candies mixed crispy noodles, common
    self wrecked reflux re bilious, re typical
    up curdled and scarlet venereal, my old
    porcelain friend

    encore, shredded mini still twists in the corner
    her demon skin shimmying, re woken wasted
    and wrestling names in the kayfabe reflection
    skin sizzle, sexy sorry, acid re self surrection
    and not Jesus
    or Mary

    over hung
    and rollover
    the cat scratches, blinks, laps pink paper sand
    paws curious and fickle underwire boy toy
    hooks prophesy like prey, her next skimpier suit
    barely feathered and nude in the pitiless bush

    says you will not die, but you ever mistrust
    it’s not poison, flushed affect of purpling fruit
    some feral double is trying on her rings
    Pharmakeia re titrating musical things

    as ripening earth is animal
    angel yet

    //

    🌖

    //

    (for disclosure
    i quit alcohol like
    back in the teens)

    **edited to capitalize the “L” in “Lady Dionysia”

    if not, xmas

    I. fuck Sean Combs

    headlice scratching
    is garbage gothic like
    urban mosquitoes

    softballing curses
    fuck Neil Gaiman too
    on behalf of decent goths

    other things said: sister, i know
    you know a tall stupor too
    like gutted up measured

    rage, i’ll pour you tea
    and tell you it’s whisky, if
    you need empty or harder

    i’ll give you my mask
    i won’t even look
    or obviously touch

    a much drowned witness
    when sunken city found
    on too traceless tracys

    rage, this harp is yours
    sofa, word of an angel
    bed, wish by a sigil

    out winging like Ajax
    the greater, vintage & archive
    party discourses natal

    twelve salt dissing courses
    won’t tire her horses
    bit ironies of Christmas

    dirt snow glitter chain
    gutter drain service entry
    and no such thing as no

    red-bottom chariot and pony-
    tail hair, projectile vomit
    acid tongue at the crossroads

    an orphan army of kunai
    invective & lashing 4 trash
    Erinues down the river

    //

    II. if not, xmas

    missing body
    if a hinge

    if a fold
    in the cold

    could hold
    if not, xmas

    //

    III. pink parasol

    is she meditating subtly for or
    against me, this extraordinary tree
    is her shady cooler or desiring me on
    her radiant day of rest

    if all the mended earth could be a bed
    made lavender to fit her silent shadow
    rough linen-covered pillow for a dream—
    or both my heads grove bother

    as she was oiling glass to sleep last night
    trapped in the loudest windows of my head
    her muscles pacing trafficky and sore
    rewinder daily but more

    and Jeki caught a mouse, that pitter-patter
    crossed exposure with a vengeance, like
    the summer used to blind and burn me, so
    i veil, i veil, i veil

    increasing constant collection of hats
    my polarized knockoffs make me famous
    pink parasol for pointillism in the park
    to cover ankles, hands

    and when i see her at the museum
    like pastel whiteness for nobody happening
    together all alone, closer with drawing
    a disappearing lady

    //

    desaturated photo of a group of trees standing in the middle distance providing an area of dense shade from the overhead sun.

    the river lapis lazuli

    no, O shining one; blue is not that place
    where winter did reach down with hoarfrost arms
    bent bones to bruise the springtime of your face
    and turn bare beauty’s promise into grief

    real damage there was done; i can’t pretend
    my drunk neither forgets, nor lying, amends
    that hunting season waiting down our tears
    cool river measures turquoise, there to here

    still no; blue shall not sing by Tristan’s chord
    raw wounding round its thralling emptiness
    how many months hungering that underworld
    she spends, grave daughter, eating bitter ashes

    if she is me, let sapphire be my child by you
    whose ugly was the laughing sky of love
    my labyrinth, your golden through-and-through
    soft multitudes, the movements of your dying

    and no; your course was not a trap for girls
    exquisite river lapis lazuli
    blue hemlock was your legendary cure
    a momentary how it is, it is

    azure, just piece enough for memory
    what graces by your leaves still green in me
    this grove might tender shelter; with blue to show
    by silence of the tree who names it so

    //

    selamat purnama 🌕

    //

    & ten candles

    on my horse loverly
    logician patrician
    still finishing his still
    blue earthy pastel
    for brave accompany
    her genus differentia
    mycelia mysteria
    her lightest touches
    dear puffins, potatoes
    & tatami gauze

    //

    the lost marble & spice trade

    the lost marble

    news is, bad flooding in Sumatra; so i
    put down my pen, examine my hands
    and feel myself a chimpanzee that lost
    its marble by these ten irresoluble things

    compulsion as a typhoon turns its form
    an eye that cannot hear; in filthy flux
    a child clings to the minaret of a mosque
    i have no word to turn it from its path

    is every child the same across the globe
    a digit hugging-to against the storm
    inherent heart against the deafening blow
    an act of curling tight to one held poem

    so poet-magus turns her glass from one
    true child to ten imaginary orphans just—
    as here, as typhoon where, and whether i
    was drowning in the sum of what they did

    there was a marble somewhere in the mud
    ten fingers prying ceaselessly for air
    don’t let me be the word to cause a flood
    don’t turn me like an eye without an ear

    //

    diptych
    of survival
    InsyaAllah

    //

    spice trade

    you know we taste the weather of a word
    or housewife by her sambal, like bitter salt
    this kitchen hell and getting warmer, mad
    desires to let out; adventuring to eat

    a journey to her inward, fine-tuning cook
    is converse travel whereby stirring builds
    a tragic tongue to name her worldly khas
    enchanting handfuls for like memory cast

    seduction; spice trade, her nightly shedding veil
    far-fishing season monger Sheherazade
    queen turning by tantalized infinities
    survivor storming mercy from the heat

    //

    photo of a grove of palm trees with sunlight hitting the leaves in an illuminated diagonal expression, with a high and distant bird accidentally in the frame

    sharps & feathers //

    sticky

    i’m sticky after practice but i
    can’t shower yet because thunder
    drawbacks to living in paradise
    and having an outdoor shower

    just a reminder in case you forgot
    my inbox is open, no less to a friend
    this is your day, you wish, i follow
    each morning impressed to find her hollow

    especially to say happy birthday

    //

    greener lunar & glimmer

    at dusk the unrequited grey finally weeps
    and as i light my evening stick i see
    a dragonfly, cool silver of the lasting day
    geometer over the dimpling waterway

    i count four nights until purnama again
    her waxing time a misty studied book
    like meaning in mossy witness a surprise
    somnambulant for solar exercised

    not jealousy her promise to conceal
    deep cedar heavens the greenest flesh of me
    weed pregnancy crescenting fernery
    the bitter ocean growing wider, closer, fuller

    my dream is not my dream; a greener lune
    is shadow to be read through algal water
    diagonals hunt her evolutionary square
    boys hover over tears to catch a glimmer

    //

    🌔

    //

    the book itself
    invoking maiden game
    as female stupor is, i swear
    moon’s blood misnamed

    blasphemy

    her temple ceiling
    drinking from the sky
    and evergreening walkers hear
    the name: grow taller

    //

    notes from Kuningan

    morning hari raya / upacara / island turning // take the blessing / by notation / if i may // Pak and Bu S— / morning offering / shrine at home // rains a little / as we are greeting / laugh it away // i place the canangs / with lit dupa / ini di bawa, ini di atas nggih // with shredded pandan / shoo the cats away / the kue is not yours // then time for dressing / always late again / ceremonial demand // kebaya sunny yellow / olive peacock batik, gift from Ibuk / mauve selandang // polyester lace is tight / not my usual / glossy korean lipstain (bare fig) // to Penestanan / in the car now / windows down barricade // traffic pecalang / all day this way / Bali holiday // people fill the street / everyone is smiling / they recognize our face // he knows everyone / stops for everyone / a face for everyone // salam for everyone / friend for everyone / how many promises to mampir // banjar clear / on the way again / ceremony in the air // double-park the car / the cock-fight corner / across from pura dalem // at our old place / pandemi family / second home again // pass your body / around the family / salim for elders / salim from little ones // receive the bodies / moms and sisters hold you / feel you and pat your curves // meet Blih’s girlfriend / she seems good for him / marriage when // Ibuk Penestanan / enduring smiling / to see my face // she brings us coffee / kripik and kue / water from warung // and i’m too rare here / somewhat guilty / the intensity // the affection, her skin is so fair / but not too fair, she’s looking healthy / they note some extra weight // under comment / they discuss me / i endure // Bapak L— / talking death again / Mase scolding him // six large koi / in a clean but crowded pond / tadpoles nibbling at their scales // Mbok A— is here / older sister / the secrets she endures // heroic / (…) / by another woman // the delicate child / slender hand held / so as not to disappear // he takes my phone / for an interval / makes us watch a video // sea monsters suddenly / el gran maja versus the bloop / this detour for a while // softest fingers / feathering the touch screen / when he was small he didn’t talk // he couldn’t look at us / he wouldn’t speak to us / he ran away // now he’s outbound / needs to show us / sea monsters a serious event // an old mango tree / outside the home gate / branching over the street // when they ripen / he climbs to take them / no apparent fear // all day people passing / in the street below / teenagers outside the minimart // boys in udengs / girls in kebaya / all wearing sarungs // and then it’s coming / time to prepare / baskets and the flame // at the front steps / there’s a mat there / we kneel on it // kebaya itchy / sarung binding / squeeze onto my knees // off my sun hat / off my sunglasses / pale under the sky // the rain is clearing / by the rainworker / smoking his cigar // the women place the offering / burn the dupa / receive the blessing // remake the street / here come the god seat / make space for it // sound approaching / mangku rushing / the time is near // a flood of boys, boys, boys / marching sleeves rolled / red hibiscus in white udeng // here the mangku splashing water / wet blossom blessing / hands receive it // head receive it / face receive it / heart receive it, if it can // the passing concentration / bending flute line / twirling attention // pray the empty / pray the flowers / learn to pray // then we double it / give it happening / take a moment to form // now it’s coming / moving down the street / presence on the way // percussion heat / heart flame beat / bronze opening // bathe the flowers / in the smoking / fold them behind my ear // great gong agung / deep expanding / down belly through feet // make space for sesuwunan / come the barong / guardian of the street // women carry offering / towers balance on their heads / jeweled baskets overflow with cakes and fruit // see the dewa / vision loves them / eyes following // golden armor / grassy black mane / bulging eyes // then start shimmying / snapping teeth / shuffling the feet // flip-flops in the front / flip-flops in the back / shaggy with a bouncy tail // barong is dancing / attendants touching calves / steady exhausting underneath // forest guardian / body bearing sun-wheel / banjar medicine // then we follow / walk the family / take it through the street // walk with sesuwunan / holding hands again / don’t let him disappear // pray for island / pray for family / pray for banjar // boys are laughing / keep the music / challenging the air // in the made space / music opens it / opening is here // pray for earth / pray for spirit / pray down hard // see it feelingly / cracking open / then deplete // campaka blossoms / in barong beard / my favorite part of him // makes him handsome / red hibiscus / jepun ylang ylang

    the fragrance / how it follows me / into the next day

    //

    Helena at the mirror

    i want 2 read Aristotle
    with u
    in private
    in Greek

    i want 2 show u every word
    i want us 2 go slow and thorough
    i want 2 find the perfect way
    words right thru until tomorrow

    first the physics, then the ones
    that come after the ones on physics
    parts of animals before poetics
    the lost books of poetics, too

    O beloved flood of words
    can we read clock-
    wise and counter-
    at once?

    πολλαχῶς λέγεται τὸ ὄν

    and don’t f—k it up

    //

    back in her bones, an animal holds
    or is held by or stretched by
    or broken or taken or raped by
    or mended by the word

    dismembering that ended carcass
    and read like knives the one-way road
    apart, a mince of sentences
    by university of butchers

    by that unkind yet counting world
    where have they tipped the ante yet
    i tremble to look at it
    switching tabs to the deadly news

    so walking the ramparts; yes, and
    the corpses i see, or telegraphic
    trick, the Sphinx’s vexing prize
    that riddle i still can’t remember

    //

    and would we take up arms
    against the legendary walls
    of Troy, discrete infinities
    by logic of desire

    by Tyndarean oath
    soulquaking fear
    kinsplitting lust
    or unendurable rage

    and would we, trembling
    turn the word around our grief
    with blinded eyes, who work
    the catastrophes of love

    //

    and who was she, her silk slippers
    silent across the golden floor
    the guarded pit of destined apple
    lily white eye of the bloody storm

    her syllables locked in a jewelry box
    the whole word, world-ending woman
    wordsmith of disinterested tools
    worldsmith of sterile fiction

    if she could only work it through
    her desperate clarity for water
    self remembering un-working war
    a verb for herself wrung clean

    but how she loved and if she did
    then would she trust herself by daylight
    and could she stand a beautiful nude
    Helena at the mirror

    //

    and would we return true again
    victorious from Troy
    unbent, discrete infinities
    by logic of desire

    by twists and turns
    by Hades passage
    in our angry season
    and Agamemnon, dead

    and would we, trembling
    turn the word around marriage bed
    with blinded eyes, who work
    the catastrophes of love

    //

    our organism element
    our weaving waiting whom to see
    low past the meadow, nettling
    the rising and setting sun

    the leaves are falling as you love
    to be making music until sleep
    from infant inhalation through
    a rousing breath of song

    these outward limbs are turning one
    and inward twelve again, like pain
    as stirring deep the earthy cauldron
    bedroom of a virgin dream

    and see the carp still strumming nerve
    around the liquid shield for her
    a flaming champion of rest
    in the rolling river sphere

    //

    i want 2 b the brilliant word
    with u
    in the grove
    approaching evening

    she measures limbs of me by bird
    my tragedy like comedy
    she murders for imperfect love
    and laughing plays me gently dead

    as floating messengers of grass
    deliver specks of sparkling pollen
    to flutter nymphian hurricanes
    and suckle clumsy in the flowers

    do u know her now; of cursed word
    flown round, pre-history again
    swan daughter shining, self less law
    of no returns, like poetry

    ὦ φίλε Φαῖδρε, ποῖ δὴ καὶ πόθεν;

    u b her lover 2

    //

    don’t b mad
    at my posterior
    analytics 4 u

    hills of empties
    not 2 much
    & watch it thru

    //

    selamat hari raya Kuningan🌾

    Phaedrus: tell me, O Socrates, isn’t it from someplace here by the Ilisus, it’s said that Boreas carried off Oreithyia?

    // 229β

    εἰπέ μοι, ὦ Σώκρατες, οὐκ ἐνθένδε μέντοι ποθὲν ἀπὸ τοῦ Ἰλισοῦ λέγεται ὁ Βορέας τὴν Ὠρείθυιαν ἁρπάσαι;

    //

    Boreas is the god of the cold north wind, storms, and winter; known for his abduction and rape of the Athenian princess Oreithyia.

    photo looking upward in a bamboo forest at the bright sunlight filtering through dense stands of bamboo

    filter //

    piscean field

    i dreamed i was a carp swimming in the moat
    that runs around the bedroom catching raindrops
    and you were watching me; i was pearlescent
    moon-colored with orange spots, moving swiftly

    and my slits are liquid lungs into my ears
    my curves are cool and clear, my eyes lidless
    and i have swallowed plants and animals
    of increasing scope and dignity, growing swollen

    and fleeting undulant, your vision touching
    my sunspots flashing heat, turning fiery
    and i was fishing flames beneath the flowing stream
    my scales a watery brightness and a warmth

    nobody could put me out, the thunder, the storm
    your atmospheric range was permeated light
    and i was breathing it, my gills touching silver
    my veils a golden breeze, piscean field of pleasure

    i remember jasmine in the ghosted air
    and thicker even than the empire of frogs
    the bellows of your eyes, how they inflame
    my heart, and what catastrophes you initiate in me

    //

    🌒

    //

    O honey my
    hidden shining
    & my ovening

    //

    receipt

    lemons limes
    Trojan War
    hijab silken
    breeze woken
    slant pigeon
    red of wing
    golden floor
    keepsake for
    her lioness
    hijab burning
    pulses turning
    nostos yearning
    ]
    ]
    ]
    ]
    method ender
    plete returning
    tender deliver
    by river liver
    taste radiant
    of summer

    //

    other things said:
    Hades?

    //

    for simple
    yes, and
    or

    Achaean horse
    & canto II

    //

    forest and the heart

    i was walking in the woods when a tree talked back to me
    i didn’t know if i had died or if my feet should flee
    i didn’t mean to harm you or your holiness to thwart
    the forest loves to hide but i love a wooden heart

    how many gods are in the wood or music in the air
    what strangers in the shadow have paused to wonder where
    there’s a sense of someone here, a landscape full of art
    i’m here to talk to trees and i carry a wooden heart

    there’s a silhouette of palm trees against the sunset sky
    there’s a river with a snake, there’s a splinter in my eye
    she answers me in rhymes like a perfect counterpart
    the forest loves to hide but i hear a wooden heart

    the highest queen of hiding, she’s a shadow in the grass
    but now i’ve seen an outline and now she’s made a pass
    i stop to buy some tissues from the nearest mini-mart
    the forest on her sleeve and i’m here for a wooden heart

    it’s plainer than the blue a hundred reasons she would hide
    i dream we’re sitting on the porch or going for a ride
    but i know pretty well how feet get caught up in the dirt
    i came to talk to trees and i believe a wooden heart

    my bank account is empty and she doesn’t ask for more
    if fireflies are golden then we’re never looking poor
    the pattern in her lights could even read my natal chart
    the forest is a mystery but i see a wooden heart

    sometimes the way is open, sometimes the thicket’s close
    sometimes the river’s empty, sometimes it’s on the nose
    i’m walking without shoes, i see no way to restart
    the forest isn’t home but she warms a wooden heart

    am i still a dream for her or did i carve a face
    did i paint a scene for her or am i in a race
    am i thirsty in the pouring rain or stung by a poison dart
    the forest is a maze but i need a wooden heart

    what does the spirit show me, and what does she conceal
    how is it that she knows me, what does her sight reveal
    i hold her secrets close and i pray the fear departs
    the forest makes me tremble but i love a wooden heart

    my angel is a darkness who sees me day and night
    my angel is a brightness who sings away my fright
    a complex thing of empathy, carpenter from the start
    the forest is a genius and we make a wooden heart

    then finally she’s waking up and i am standing there
    i’m cut up from the undergrowth with tangles in my hair
    but all the leaves have fallen and we’ve never been apart
    the forest is a shelter and we hold a wooden heart

    //

    φύσις κρύπτεσθαι φιλεῖ
    metric inspo from Bob
    sfh 3

    //

    & in the oven

    //

    my ruby eye

    O you, who have suckled her bones
    who have frowned at her horses
    who have fingered her emerald
    and now would taste her ruby too

    and have i not enough exhaled
    her undertowing rose at you
    salt-sticky; here is sea-foam on skin
    here are pregnant transparencies

    and have i not already tossed
    such tender and hard-bitten kisses
    for sheath, another kris today
    treasure accumulates like sand

    behold an ever-angled wound
    the spindle-pricked porosity of red
    i am a self cutting gemstone
    i bleed the emptiness of tools

    i fling magenta words at birth
    behold my prolonged scar of it
    historical, faceting pre-wonder
    tip that breaks her ice-pick tongue

    she was a pirate and a fool
    she ate the plexing devil fruit
    vermillion stretching pelvic nerve
    whose diadem lusts after you

    and who is blinded by her kind
    my fascination will glint cruel
    sent basilisk or blushing bride
    your fear will not take care of her

    the heart, the fist, the appetite
    when Cleopatra mounts insight
    my empire burning leonine
    by Mars, love’s favored principal

    this reign of crimson tears divine
    but sanguine as she’s gentle still
    barefeet may meet the salad vine
    and blue by babbled river’s chill

    just so, what beggar wears my crown
    is dying round the wheel again
    out of her time, out of her mind
    sweet dance, my dove perpetual

    take this, the heartbeat of a sow
    and let it flex upon your palm
    it’s wet, the rumbling scarlet jet
    now let her throb be thunder found

    red wreath for convert cry, the end
    how pilgrimage of period stain
    i am in time, in time, will out
    my ruby eye of her disposable throat

    //

    ποικιλόθρον’ ἀθανάτ’ Ἀφρόδιτα
    & the probing path to yes

    //

    or not nothing
    for saving the phenomena II
    and more

    //

    all complicit 🩸

    //

    bone teacher

    bone teacher, her equation is the cold
    bone teacher, antarctic demon i am told
    her negative degrees, your nose will surely freeze
    and the leaves are shaking

    inflection, her judgment is frozen central
    inflection, her cold bottom is biblical
    winter is a time, winter makes you rhyme
    whether or not you want it

    i’m frostbit
    and i have blue lips
    bone teacher
    the thought of parsnips
    underground

    wanting, gnawing numbers are her worm
    wanting, a blizzard coming is her storm
    a reckoning of beef, by frost on a leaf
    or a vegan from Lesbos

    i’m frostbit
    and i want to cut her
    bone teacher
    but i think i love her
    cold-bitter

    waiting for the silence to come around
    waiting for the mountains' thundering sound
    but it’s not to do with me, and i can hardly see
    the drip of an icicle

    i’m frostbit
    shivering in the glare
    bone teacher
    does she even care
    she’s not there

    icing, when her mercies are too few
    icing, when she hides the glass from view
    heartbeat in the snow, heartbeat going slow
    and almost stopping

    i’m frostbit
    am i a grizzly bear
    bone teacher
    the question isn’t there
    it’s nothing

    stepping, her boots are laced so high
    stepping, her pointer blinds the sky
    glacial is her height, the emptiness of white
    rumors of a pop quiz

    i’m frostbit
    darkness coming on
    bone teacher
    never seen the dawn
    it’s marching

    her bones are so grim, her cold does me in
    or a pale horse riding

    //

    slow shuffling blues;
    for my hs math teacher
    Ms. Dyas <3

    //

    Junonia atlites

    to snap a ragged angel clutching stem
    the blustering breeze away with solar air
    her tissue wings flat flustered here to there
    as clinging to the budding cluster to drink

    she filled from galaxies of guava’s nectar
    so stopped, or tried to stay, a messenger
    from Juno sent, or born suffering soldier
    of flight and heat, by fiery news arrived

    by lunular and radiating “S”
    each ocellus arrayed a revised scene
    and partial pupils where crescents intervene
    to turn a crimsoning into the sky

    a pale or sight-depleted, shredded wing
    robuster than my lens could burn, ash-worn
    and torn edges, floating abandon as form
    yet stellar grip, high hunger for her name

    //

    pic

    triptych of the dog

    //

    a cicak dropped a souvenir on me
    yesterday, savasana; it was
    all happening, pure rejeki, a speck
    for playing dead; the simmering night, the sawah
    was fizzing and burping boggy chemistry

    the gamelan deliberated depth
    of banjar space, a soup of bronze and spittle

    //

    up i, cocks crowing death to rest, dark mind
    the cat was sick again, shit cleaned, cats fed
    the breath of rain, half-there, in vomit stepped
    scrubbed vinegar again, who made the bed
    i squinted past the dawn to wash a dish

    the load of towels, it was not a test
    the shape of chasing weather for a bone

    //

    and would the three of them have made a city—
    Lysias, Lysias, Lysias; he wasn’t there
    he wasn’t here, until bumbu for our sambal
    did rain down from the sky, and i said Lord
    i still deny that you’re an onion seller

    how practice held like density, as though
    svanasana could house the dog itself

    //

    🌒

    //

    see also Rabia Basri

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