Dogs
animal ownership
i am in love
with a real animal
she feels strangely familiar
she feels strangely kind
i am drawn
by her steady warmth
by her interior calm
she seems to understand
i am tempted
to bring her home
i want her to be safe
i am afraid she is not safe
i am bound
by animal ownership
my dog is not my dog
she is her own beach dog
//
disproportionate luxury
my three cats are
as kept-healthy housecats
i daily reckon a deep
irresponsibility
//
date night and an opened fast
the bistro grows further away with every date
the one at the end of the island where we go
to visit our phantom habit for public hunger
your eyes say its not fair to look with my pit
but the opened fast maneuvers greed into survival
so we chew but cannot swallow what we see
is this then what judgment is my lips will ask
this polyester napkin and those contactless faces
our eyes held hands fed body before what future
you drive us home in the twisting dark as i nod off
the headlights reflected in dogs eyes like coins
as the unfed guard the way by broken asphalt
we arrive and flavor seems to have returned
we bite a grey macaron speckled with black sesame
seeds soft as the crack at the back of a cradled head
//
takjil classic
my mind is frantic
in the hour before sunset
when the annunciation pangs
i hunted double by the fangs of love
am drawn cold into the pit of hunger
so i pace your perimeter like a wolf
i trace the confines of my sensate cell
then burning captive as the passing sun
and growing tidal as the shadows long
now soon again is never times enough
i dont know what takes hold of me
when i press your body to the earth
when i am the salivating predator
as fingers ten my teeth and tongue
as sticky sweet your parted pliable
to taste the heart deferred
three medjool dates
//
🌓
Phaedrus: (as Lysias, cont.)
that they claim
they most love (philein)
those whom they love (eran)
// 231ξ
ὅτι τούτους μάλιστά φασιν φιλεῖν ὧν ἂν ἐρῶσιν
//
philos and eros
cacao and sea salt
or the dog
//
inhuman allusion (where)
in shredded shadow hums her corners beastly nerve
end-hounding at the anklets of my wandering
by prowling tigers milk and heat evisceral
cuts lip to tongue amnesiacs re-hysteried word
stalks fear in what like a magician i have bound
blush turns like a trick pony shes ground me into
and if there was a choice that voice has been erased
thigh-hollows skittering rush from goose-flesh alter-flight
laughterless laugh to pique the predatory mask
high valleys ridges brimming overrun of rage
down slouching bowels round rapt plum of panic like
the sparrow silent as a fork in my ribcage
and somewhere in this feckled wilderness her heart
is pounding proud and naked by the rivers dark
on the doubled drums of gods anarchic metaphor
//
warm to a thremma
//
Indras net (what belongs to the familiar)
around her head a sardine circlet
around her foot mortality
around her voice a glittering corset
around her heart a memory
she reflected on the dawnlight
she was setting in her place
she looked sober in the photo
but you couldn’t see her face
eye for eye and cell to cell
did you knot me to be brave
did you tie me from a shoestring
toss my frame across the wave
name the garnet in my cherry
your horizon on the deep deep wine
as i lost count of drowning
for the promise of a rhyme
for your blessed rage to swallow
i was waiting at the altar
and a pearl was burning bitter-sweet
when i tasted your salt water
when i saw you in the restaurant yesterday
and you finally appeared
Indras net was drawing closer
Indras net was catching tears
when you saw that i was deadly
when you wrote my rib in two
i was made and i was unmade
to make better love to you
and every lace undoing
to find the heart of sand
and every mark to fill the worth of a blade
with the imprint of her hand
and every glass was melting thunder
to the predatory corner
and a little death for the purities of power
to the mountain out her window
to the wildflowers evening color
to the sky and sea and weather
to the darker voice that rose
to the horses all untethered
she heard it was one million
she heard one million seven
the circle dreamed it would be easy
the fishes knew it would be heaven
you know my situation
you know what keeps me here
you know ocean is an islands final word
and what belongs to the familiar
//
lyrics for conscience round
music and idea from angles morts
heart of sand //
malefactions; or, postcard with a friendly beach dog
for days i don’t approach the horn of the cove
where the current sucks and turns uneasily
and i am aware of the guardian boulders
volcanic black sea-knuckled beings slippery
with skins of algal velvet green like anti-grip
until i walk accompanied one slack-tide dim
and under cover before dawn as she appears
and recognizes me through all these years
as she has walked with me uncounted times
the dog perceives exactly why i’m here
and reclines to wait for me as grains of sand
embed unevenly in her salted soot-brown fur
she follows me though i don’t know her name
until we reach the mountains wine-darkened toes
i navigate those with my hands and feet
and we watch them goldened by the rising sun
//
the goodliest
all unrestraint, all treats this island takes
by forest, mountain, mangrove or the beach
an altar lit with incense, sticky cakes
and coins, by slobbery foam, licks of brimstones
and muddy sticks and well-chewed-over bones
what rainbows churning in her tempest heart
what spilling cordials, bloody clots of earth, and all
may find rest in her furry green account
at restless earth-born sings a twilit face—
my valley for a storms! all to the tree!
and all to thee, the goodliest pan, O Pan—
of setting rings, pure nuncial—of place!
//
genius loci
ribbitere
//
🌓
the seams of Saint Veronica
i was digging in the garden
i was rooting up a rose
dreaming of a buried bone
listening to my nose
i sewed your face into it
and you told me no
my unclean mystery
i’m tearing up tatami
do you need the dog in me
should i paw at your door
i was sniffing in a corner
now i’m passed out on the floor
i smell like cat piss
i’ve been running in the rain
what is your mercy for
a reckoning of typhons
i’m in a foreign country
and i never knew a law
i weep at every stranger
my long tongue and stupid jaw
you don’t even want it
until you’re dying
and you don’t look at me
i miss you only
wandering the streets at night
‘cause good girls love to roam
and if i lost my reason
would i find you at home
all your mixed signals
i chew them into air
your body is so visible
bones buried everywhere
the wooden cross you carry
the weight on trembling knees
how do you carry crosses
if you don’t believe in trees
why do i bury them
why am i depressed
why am i in your garden
my garden is a mess
six angry shades of rosary
and every count has thorns
and if i turn the light on
what takes a shadow’s form
and could i fight it
or am i just a bluff
my smoke at midnight
my nothing is enough
three verticals upon the hill
at dawn there’s five or more
their arms the work of windmills
guardians of metaphor
vermilion edges
my painterly lines
flashing iridescence
my greener stigmata
the seams of Saint Veronica
the tilt of her golden leaf
and if the suffering savior
had denied her that relief
beloved breaking
my faltered knowledge
she’s in the dirty street
the hounds of resurrection
//
(a song /
a howls)
//
my dog sings
and my gremlin
speaks in iambs
or
currently reading:
The Tempest
//
if not, xmas
I. fuck Sean Combs
headlice scratching
is garbage gothic like
urban mosquitoes
softballing curses
fuck Neil Gaiman too
on behalf of decent goths
other things said: sister, i know
you know a tall stupor too
like gutted up measured
rage, i’ll pour you tea
and tell you it’s whisky, if
you need empty or harder
i’ll give you my mask
i won’t even look
or obviously touch
a much drowned witness
when sunken city found
on too traceless tracys
rage, this harp is yours
sofa, word of an angel
bed, wish by a sigil
out winging like Ajax
the greater, vintage & archive
party discourses natal
twelve salt dissing courses
won’t tire her horses
bit ironies of Christmas
dirt snow glitter chain
gutter drain service entry
and no such thing as no
red-bottom chariot and pony-
tail hair, projectile vomit
acid tongue at the crossroads
an orphan army of kunai
invective & lashing 4 trash
Erinues down the river
//
II. if not, xmas
missing body
if a hinge
if a fold
in the cold
could hold
if not, xmas
//
III. pink parasol
is she meditating subtly for or
against me, this extraordinary tree
is her shady cooler or desiring me on
her radiant day of rest
if all the mended earth could be a bed
made lavender to fit her silent shadow
rough linen-covered pillow for a dream—
or both my heads grove bother
as she was oiling glass to sleep last night
trapped in the loudest windows of my head
her muscles pacing trafficky and sore
rewinder daily but more
and Jeki caught a mouse, that pitter-patter
crossed exposure with a vengeance, like
the summer used to blind and burn me, so
i veil, i veil, i veil
increasing constant collection of hats
my polarized knockoffs make me famous
pink parasol for pointillism in the park
to cover ankles, hands
and when i see her at the museum
like pastel whiteness for nobody happening
together all alone, closer with drawing
a disappearing lady
//
triptych of the dog
//
a cicak dropped a souvenir on me
yesterday, savasana; it was
all happening, pure rejeki, a speck
for playing dead; the simmering night, the sawah
was fizzing and burping boggy chemistry
the gamelan deliberated depth
of banjar space, a soup of bronze and spittle
//
up i, cocks crowing death to rest, dark mind
the cat was sick again, shit cleaned, cats fed
the breath of rain, half-there, in vomit stepped
scrubbed vinegar again, who made the bed
i squinted past the dawn to wash a dish
the load of towels, it was not a test
the shape of chasing weather for a bone
//
and would the three of them have made a city—
Lysias, Lysias, Lysias; he wasn’t there
he wasn’t here, until bumbu for our sambal
did rain down from the sky, and i said Lord
i still deny that you’re an onion seller
how practice held like density, as though
svanasana could house the dog itself
//
🌒
//
see also Rabia Basri
semi-nude for a photo album
their birthday was the other night
the girls were going out; the grift
delayed by getting ready; gift
of tangled, sappy rattan; caused a fright
pan, she burned some flowers on you
meta-burban, real dream for two
polaroid tacky, pantries full
of shady tatters, curtain bulls
sister, it was no dress for winter
but they were grown enough to drink
something fancy from the blender
fermented guava, lava lake
lavender flannel, camisole
white linen sheets, hung in the sun
nigel and sandi, mel and sue
genre-bender, Java won
high horse, he has a song for you
but i’ll save it for another tone
her sweaty practice, overdue
vinyasa, tapas, organ brew
dizzy lizzy ate some rice
eat, pray, love, the antichrist
jihadi, mum’s worst nightmare
Gandhi, papa’s burnt-off limb
inter-dimensional makeout queen
Osaka airport, caused a scene
village gossip, words above
she’s never catching up on love
not quite posh, but pulp turned through
realism, my lands, god knew
so sliced the flippin' longitude
bless her heart and come on in
agrimony henbane dish
too-schooled harpy hysterical
raised pie of huckleberry fish
turned river-liver radical
there’s mantra in the air tonight
what kue set in sangga stone
rise with the moon, the howling dog
the crone, her voice memorial
white-footed goat is coming home
to graze by fiery sunset view
the desert camel, bringing bones
with mother Durga, chest tattoo
a secret pocket of soil and spice
elaborate belty-thing, rhizomes in knots
not big enough for where you think
whether it is cake
//
(wants cake)
//
texas talkin blues, like this
vernacular from full moon 5/11
genius loci, pura dalem
blog 2-yr anniverse & job well done
//
the looper
by grief of the dog in a blinded place
he wanted her heart so he shadowed her face
under cover of dawn when she wasn’t awake
the silver misted or altering
her eyelids open but the crescent stays closed
pale beside her is a body or a suited pose
her own lap empty as an uncut rose
she brews coffee to keep him on his feet
her towering heels after pups on a leash
imposing the law with restless releases
a child was limping with a wounded shin
and the cry was loop loop looo
so she stations herself against the daily race
with a heart beat distant at a raggedy pace
the private fingering of her pencilling hand
gray ribbons or bloodlines away
checking the door, securing a window
turning a latch or locking a symbol
the lupine circling would never know
and his cry was loop loop looo
smooth is the pack, the witless texture of skin
painting the walls to skirt the outside in
and the red is to run and the fast is the worst
and sundown always coming closer
blurred in the grease at the end of the day
the charcoal prophet reflecting her phase
the stillness or the animal dilation
and her cry was loop loop looo
loop loop loooooo
ah-oooooo
loop loop loooooo
ah-oooooo
//
sfh 2
//
song for her
my friend is brilliant, she lives inside a box
her light is so strong, it made cracks into my house
her cracks in everything, she’s uncontainable
her container is a place of blinding peace
she is so brilliant, that i’m afraid of her
she is so quick, she catches me before i stumble
she is so mighty, one piece of her becomes my whole
by day her memory, by night her secret plan
she is so brilliant, she broke into my dream
i found her there, busy kitchening a shadow
what she was making, i couldn’t wait to see
was it a love potion, or did she want to poison me
she is so brilliant, i tried to let her know
i made a mirror, it was not the way to go
i think i burned her, by what she wouldn’t say
she is so brilliant, maybe i should have let her be
she is so brilliant, but her mom sounds like a bitch
i want to tell her, but i’m not sure about it
she watches tv, and i think it makes her sad
i’d let her see me, but her brilliance drives me mad
she is so brilliant, but our interspecies owl
if she’s leucistic, and i might be a wolf-man
if i’m too mystic, my tooth and claw and howl
to hold her close, i’m gonna fry them in a pan
she is so brilliant, i take time to process her
or i’m a house-cat, high-rolling in her sunshine
i soak it in, through my fur into my bones
chasing lit inches, and i don’t even mind
lacking her brilliance, i wrote a song for her
it’s cos i’m foolish, my words are pawns for her
i just can’t help it, i need to let her know
how brilliant she is, that i could never let her go
she is so brilliant, that i could never let her go
etc
//
not sarcastic
//
music by her
//
Socrates: O Phaedrus—if I fail to know my Phaedrus, I have forgotten my own self.
And yet, I have done neither of these.
Well do I know that when he heard Lysias' speech, he didn’t hear it only once. But often and repeatedly, Phaedrus urged him to speak. And Lysias eagerly (prothumos) obliged.
But even that wasn’t enough. And he, managing to take possession of the book, examined what his heart most desired (epithumos).
And doing this, sitting since early morning, he gave it up and went for a walk — knowing the speech thoroughly, I would guess, by the dog; unless it is very long indeed.
And he crossed outside the wall, that he might practice (meleta-o).
And meeting one mad for hearing words, and seeing him, seeing, it would pleasure him to possess a fellow Corybantic reveler, and he commanded him to lead.
And as the lover (erastes) of words was begging him to speak, he broke away, as if it was not his desire (epithume-o) to speak.
But in the end, he was always going to speak, and if someone wouldn’t listen willingly, then by force!
O Phaedrus, anyway — beg yourself to create (poie-o) right now, and quick, the very pleasures (ede / edos) that you will nonetheless create!
Needleworker
Pierce me once—the crying; pierce me twice—
The dying; pierce me thrice—my laughing tomb:
This quivering feline skin, some kind of lark,
Sharp noise, felt aerial, fled human wound.
O Queequeg, Lucy’s love, my Nobody!
Unmake ambergris soufflé to scrap and salt;
Pets, lapping shattered tiramisu, whet
Our mongrel tongues; embroidering the asp.
Bull-revelry, before we dance the waltz?
Your sutra swans around my ichthyan lisp,
To charm the vipers out—that feather in
Your bonnet inks my tapestry with bone.
I move to tiger with you on the cusp
Of animality, that golden-threaded throne.
//
🌘
Δ
Screenshot slaps—
To ring a sucker. You think
Your appetite entitles you
To moonstained blood?
And you, and you, and all of you.
Scrap mouths, yapping from
Ass-ends of snakes.
Shut it. Shut it. Shut yourself!
Your little o’s and u’s and y’s
Without wisdom—
All bite, all bitches' bark—your traps,
Fracked actuary lines.
My splintered flotsam pierces
Fiercer than your fangs.
Your slit-tangled tongues,
Your whore-hooked hounds,
Your dog-groveling snack,
The politician’s lie. Your island—
Ground to grit, and sifted by
My epicurean babble.
I suck off
One billion suns, you snatch
Six bones from Ithaca—
And don’t dare swallow.
I am the throat, I am
The eye. Black
As red as wine, neither
Skin nor flesh, as I
Exhale his brutal
Homecoming; I am
Cauldron of slaughtered
Maidens’ morning.
His alibi, to coast right by you.
As if the smiling tide
That governed him—
A king!—stoppered with wax.
Just try—you cannot shut
Your maggots fingering,
Their heads, nailbeds, uncut, exposed.
I am the shuttering.
Shot-shallow loons, aswirl
My spiral bowel, prowling
Pack of orphan pups, your howling
Hungers feed a woken Why—
My delta consumes,
Your keystroke masturbates
A corpse’s withered sty.
Pregnant with his child,
All men belong to me.
My one
Unconquerable O—
Your place to die.
//