i feel wrong
i feel deadly wrong
was it my flaw

the day you died
i couldnt fake it
on a leaf

its only human
my human alone
gone wrong somewhere

how could i carry
part of a song
even for us

how can i carry
any part
when i dont know your part at all

when however far i look into the future
i see more the garbled tangle
of our past

and in the past
my disbelief
grief-black

how far i look
for strangled words
in selfishness of absence

what seems impossible
you make look easy
you do unimaginably well

for the people watching
and what they say
when i fail

a mouse in a trap
a graveyard worm
crazy i heard

i take advantage
as i perform
your death

i violate it
un-making
the heartache

i minimize you
i lose you like
your text

i speak from an empty place
a world of pressure
i well refuse

the way is cruel
and i cant tell
the trial from the abyss

how can i love you
how can i write this
without hating you for it

how could you put me through this
without hating me
yourself

how could love make me
voice the pain
of its own loss

i would just guess
but then you make me
do it sober

the fire lost is
i didnt rub
your ankles

the fire lost is
your questions
i choke

the fire lost
is everything
that fire doesnt fix

the fire lost
the body silent
involuntary