Camels

    new years 2026

    i witness your erosion through the glass
    my history disappearing by the hour
    and snow consumes to whiteout; i am cold
    turned witless by distance and disbelief

    and there are no more familiar houses, faces
    are spreading, thinning, greying, pale, the young
    mere vanishing into the adult flood, like
    we didn’t want any of it

    the cruiseliner is sinking into sand
    nobody made the call, nevertheless
    it’s all you ever say; whoever has a camel
    hard fast to roll the tents and carry it

    how do you chase your longing through the dunes
    and did her caravan leave any trace
    or do you doubt if she was ever there
    or do you see her in the doe, the goat, the raven

    do you become her in the cursive carved
    by thirst, the desert bridegroom winding through
    until you haunt the edges of their encampment
    inhuman as the hajj, kin to al-Shanfara

    locals popping-off begin at dusk
    explosions quickening unevenly
    as child-sized rockets into midnight, when at once
    fireworks engulf the island, terrifying animals

    i turn a light on for the chickens
    Black Ajax has fallen out of his black tree
    he gibbers darkly as he hobbles toward me
    the light, a blacker perch; gibbering, i walk him through it

    //

    selamat tahun baru🥂

    //

    our chickens are
    most junglefowl
    we don’t fight them
    as, with cocks, is done
    but they are fighters

    //

    winter under wax & wick bottled

    winter under wax

    on church circle, dark december in the upstairs bar
    a brass banister slides under my pink merino glove
    words quiet, two or four of us at a mahogany table, hunter
    green and a glass globe of spiced amber medicinal

    or new years post-midnight, lit sobranie at the window
    my flat over the cobalt classy resto where i worked
    high-waisted and fetching wine for devil’s cash from tourists
    my slanted bedroom walls still blue for my boss’s baby

    alone finishing a bottle of champagne with poetry
    down gazing over main street empty, marketed, icy
    and lantern halo; uphill from the glossy wavering city dock
    of Annapolis sleeping under the falling snow

    in great hall, a baby grand conceived her toasty fingerprints
    you found me there, immersive conjecture duo lingual
    brought me back to your apartment, requested we tango
    through leggy glasses of burgundy whether i broke a heart

    doorways into sympathy revolving thresholds of regret
    fellowships unbraided by such shallow recklessness
    the turning years a blur between slow burns of clarity
    or tether to a substance so precious it couldn’t endure

    and was sanctuary sweet, i ask at the temple of winter
    retasting an icicle of rarity until it self-sealed under wax
    and aged like honey; when all around it had decayed
    knotwork to dust, the bitterness of ashes and Egyptian sun

    //

    wick bottled

    wax profane
    waning lunar
    wick bottled

    yes

    and i, old lady, lug down
    but 61 ivories from the loteng
    dear i’m sorry for these years
    pyramidical procrastination

    now

    are they enough
    for journey to Jeddah

    //

    semi-nude for a photo album

    their birthday was the other night
    the girls were going out; the grift
    delayed by getting ready; gift
    of tangled, sappy rattan; caused a fright

    pan, she burned some flowers on you
    meta-burban, real dream for two
    polaroid tacky, pantries full
    of shady tatters, curtain bulls

    sister, it was no dress for winter
    but they were grown enough to drink
    something fancy from the blender
    fermented guava, lava lake

    lavender flannel, camisole
    white linen sheets, hung in the sun
    nigel and sandi, mel and sue
    genre-bender, Java won

    high horse, he has a song for you
    but i’ll save it for another tone
    her sweaty practice, overdue
    vinyasa, tapas, organ brew

    dizzy lizzy ate some rice
    eat, pray, love, the antichrist
    jihadi, mum’s worst nightmare
    Gandhi, papa’s burnt-off limb

    inter-dimensional makeout queen
    Osaka airport, caused a scene
    village gossip, words above
    she’s never catching up on love

    not quite posh, but pulp turned through
    realism, my lands, god knew
    so sliced the flippin' longitude
    bless her heart and come on in

    agrimony henbane dish
    too-schooled harpy hysterical
    raised pie of huckleberry fish
    turned river-liver radical

    there’s mantra in the air tonight
    what kue set in sangga stone
    rise with the moon, the howling dog
    the crone, her voice memorial

    white-footed goat is coming home
    to graze by fiery sunset view
    the desert camel, bringing bones
    with mother Durga, chest tattoo

    a secret pocket of soil and spice
    elaborate belty-thing, rhizomes in knots
    not big enough for where you think
    whether it is cake

    //

    (wants cake)

    //

    texas talkin blues, like this
    vernacular from full moon 5/11
    genius loci, pura dalem
    blog 2-yr anniverse & job well done

    //

    as if i were a whitefoot

    nameless, the gentle landscape chose
    pointlost, ungiven, brutishly
    endbringer to deadset hunger,
    rudeness riverrun to mercy.

    grim gravelshatterer, sparking flint
    to be action or scenery—
    object of disbelief, the ground
    to goat a hesitating hoof—

    or clamp too-trustingshank, object
    of appetite. salivaspills
    from ruthless gum of animal,
    rankcivil tooth of shackledmilk;

    but snarlingword, infant of dust
    absent a motherverse, is howl
    heartletting keen of lucid sacrifice.
    come drink from me, Al-Shanfarā—

    she desertlimns greydreaded; trim
    your distance, wolves. the veil of thirst
    is inhuman as ocean, burns
    your hornsgolden by bending sun.

    //

    (reply to Shanfara’s Lamiyyat al-Arab, trans. by Michael A. Sells in Desert Tracings.)